No Matter What

It was exhausting

to be aware and determined

to search for truth —

no matter what —

to take on a little bit

more than one’s own individual

trauma,

to be dedicated to truth,

then dedicated to sharing.

But it wasn’t really

a choice, not really.

There was the frustration

when words seemed to

dissipate in thin air

through years spent being pulled

into darkness

and years of climbing out —

through the shock as the whole world

seemed to turn completely

upside down.

But there was a certain quality

of spirit, recovered through

this very process that whispered,

“How could I not?”

It held no grudges or hatred

or blame

because it was seen

through the despair

and understood somewhere deeper

that this very soul would not have evolved

quite as quickly

or integrated quite so fully

on an easier path.