Quiet Reflections and Prayers
There was pain in returning to wholeness. It was painful to reach back to parts of myself stuck in the past. And it was painful to begin to feel the pain of others as my own pain.
But there was no turning back. There was a tenderness in tapping into truth that I was unwilling to let go of again. And so I continued to meet each unfolding moment from a state of prayer — trusting in life to meet me. It felt like a huge risk, but I had been in that place before.
Maybe it was seeing the stories on the surface become unbearable that made jumping into the unknown seem less scary for a moment. Perhaps it was having been touched so deeply by the sharing of others or the desire to play a part in the shattering of old patterns of suffering. Perhaps it was a combination of these things that caused my heart to make a gesture to future generations through healing and softening my own heart a little more. How could I not?
Healing deeply meant finding a way to reach in to parts of Self — where it would have been easier not to. It meant reaching a place where surface responses and insights were no longer an option.
It meant becoming humble enough to reach into the unknown space within my own heart for guidance in each moment with the resolve to find my way and remain there and in a world finding its own heart again — no matter what.
I learned that creative processes held an element of messiness. I couldn’t really know when the pieces would come together — forming something more beautiful and tender than I had imagined.
It was tempting to look at the pieces and see only the mess. And so I practiced looking from a little higher view.
There were times
when the most pressing work
to be done
was to retrace my steps,
to return to
a place of reprieve —
to soothe
my own heart
a little more.
After a while I learned to be in my heart and in the world. I learned to extract all that was beautiful and all that was tender from each experience. I learned to stand with the part of me that was most healed and let go — holding the door of my heart for all that was not quite beautiful — daring to continue on with love.
Thank you for courage
to follow where my heart
would lead
and for resolve
to stand firmly
through challenges within
the creative flow
when it would be easier
to take a different path.
Bless all who dare
to continue to create
with love
and those who have not
yet begun.
Amen
What Now became
a way of being.
It took a bit of practice
to allow my mind
to relax into a place
of surrender to the prayer
within my heart
and to integrate parts of me
I had previously struggled
against.
But it was there hidden within
this place
that I found true healing
and peace.
After a while,
I learned to listen
to the quiet prayer within.
It began as a whisper
without words,
but its presence was enough
to light my path
when I felt most challenged.
It reminded me of
the all that was miraculous
and led to a place
of compassion for myself
and others here at this time
as souls in human form.
A new kind of thought began to echo within. No longer believing old rambling thoughts to be worthy of so much attention left a space for the new.
The echo of new thought soothed and guided ever so gently.
Laurie's Notes 