One day I got it that life isn’t supposed to get completely sorted out. I understood there is always a place of unsettledness. Who’s to say what and how much to sort through and surrender and how much to leave alone in the transformative state of raw tenderness?
I couldn’t help but look back on all the time and energy spent trying find someone or something to help me out of the mess in my head. I thought of all the countless dramas I had acted out in my life in hope of a solution to this unresolved trauma — my piece of the collective suffering.
Then I got it that at any point I could have seen that I was okay with where I was (because of course I was more okay than I knew). I could have identified with the healer in me, the totality of all of the parts of me that had struggled to find relief — not knowing they didn’t need to go it alone.
And so in that moment, I vowed to not waste one more bit of energy doing things that only tired me out, including all useless kinds of thinking. I vowed to keep my heart open to the quiet prayer within.
Sometimes enough is enough.
Laurie's Notes 
🙂
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Oh and also there is relief in the middle of the messiness of life. Little breathers like being here reading your words always calm me and slow me down. I’m thankful for you and your sweet words. 🙏🏼💜 they are medicine for the soul 🌸💕
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I love your theme note. I really really love that a lot. 💕💕 you made me smile 😊
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Lol. I’m still playing. I liked this other theme I had so I posted a sticky post on front, but I didn’t delete it .Lol 😂
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Oh good. I like those notes 🤗❤️
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😂😂😂
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I see color ❤
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Haha
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“I could have identified with the healer in me”. I love this line. It’s very consoling in a way, even though more often than not I don’t quite manage to identify with my own healer but with the crazy messiness instead. Your post is a good reminder than we have within all we might need.
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I see the messiness as part of the inner healer. It’s kind of tender. The mess is part of her so she can hold it deeply. .which is so honoring and healing.
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Hm… I struggle to see it as tender as more often than not it doesn’t feel like it. But maybe you’re right and it’s also its way of showing the way.
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It wasn’t always this way for me either ❤
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