Tag: anorexia recovery

Reconnection With Sacredness

Unsorted, Within the Mystery February 14, 2019

Life took on a welcome

subtleness.

The ability to create

a lighter, more playful relationship

with thought offered

a new kind of reprieve.

There was a renewed trust

in the two-way communication

with life

and a reconnection with

sacredness that made being alive

begin to make a little more sense.

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A Subtle Shift

Reflections February 2, 2019

What seemed like

a subtle shift in thinking

and the ability to focus

within

became a valuable tool

to navigate in a world

in the midst of its own

healing crisis.

It was a lifesaver during

overwhelming times

to be able to focus feelings

and thoughts

in such a way as to allow

them to be reflected.

Against All Odds

Tenderness November 30, 2018

There were moments of deeply felt grief, having endured a long, intense spiritual and human journey. There were regrets and lingering physical scars and emotional wounds.  And there was tenderness, something that was understood deep down to somehow be the whole point.

There was the understanding, in the brief moments of outer calm, that I had given up many things on this journey — but not this. I wouldn’t have been able to endure without this tenderness of spirit.

I wouldn’t have been able to be present in a world of challenges without having broken apart and come back together. I wouldn’t have been able to look at overwhelming challenges and destruction without knowing what is possible. I had been to the edge of destruction in my own way and had, against all odds, transformed — not with my own limited human self alone, but in cooperation with something much bigger that I didn’t quite understand.

At a certain point, it became clear that standing on the edge of destruction was only one way this thing could go. It was possible to be moved also by respect and compassion for having made it so far and the passion to prevent future suffering wherever I could. It was possible to nurture and allow the smallest spark of pure love to ignite.

Unfilled

Lessons From Anorexia, Unsorted November 28, 2018

All things were returned to their rightful place. Parts of self matured naturally with the unconditional presence held by those who had endured brokenness and the intimate process of putting the pieces back — having taken care to leave a tender space unfilled where it would have been easier to attempt to fill it up. What was once desperate attempts at survival became wisdom and loving self-restraint.