Tag: recovery

This Space Within My Heart

Soothing March 16, 2019

It made no difference

how many times I seemed

to lose my footing.

It didn’t matter how many

times I fell.

After a while,

I understood I could

always find my way again.

After a while, I realized

I was, in fact,

this space within my heart.

I came to understand I had

survived something difficult

and landed in a lower vibration —

for a while

where the sound of my soul

seemed faint.

But I could find my way

again.

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Just Enough

Quieting, Unsorted March 15, 2019

I found journies of the heart

can be difficult.

It was easy to become

discouraged and a little more

difficult to feel my way forward

and through leftover debris from

early challenges

and to become willing to stand

alone with God.

Each time I felt I couldn’t take

another step,

life somehow showed

just enough tenderness

to inspire one more.

Reprieve

Tenderness March 14, 2019

I found instant reprieve

in the exact moment

I returned my focus

to the space within my heart.

I learned it was enough

to focus on what was appearing

right in front of me,

allowing all that was past

to be released.

I learned to sense where

life was supporting me to be

in each moment

with a little more grace

and trust.

Only This

Tenderness March 13, 2019

Each time I seemed

to fall back down

into fear,

I wondered how I would ever

find the strength to rise again.

There were times

of integration when I would

somehow lose my footing

and in a little bit of panic

seem to lose my way

and cry out,

which never went particularly well —

to put it mildly.

There was, in these times,

a quiet, wordless  prayer

inside my heart.

Often it was the only thing

left to hold on to.

No matter how great the

contrast between what I felt

in my heart

and what appeared in front of me

and in my cluttered mind,

I continued on —

declaring once more,

perhaps with more conviction,

If the only reprieve to be found

is in my heart space

with this one continuous

quiet prayer,

then I will hold

only this.

Forever

Tenderness March 5, 2019

Life began to soften

ever so slightly.

It was risky to hold

the love I had found

in my heart.

There were body memories

of the times when the contrast

between my heart and the world

had been too much to hold —

or so I thought.

Little by little I had somehow

learned how to hold whatever

needed holding —

for however long it needed

to be held —

even if it was forever.

Something Beautiful

Tenderness March 4, 2019

Sometimes words and tears

didn’t come.

Sometimes standing

in the empty space where words

and tears should have been

was the exact right place.

It’s where I found the most

shattered parts of my heart,

dusted them off

with my very last bit

of strength,

and promised to somehow

fit the pieces together and make

something beautiful of the mess —

again.

Of course each time I

realized the impact

of the imperfect journey

and willingness to show up

in that very moment —

breaking through my fear

of getting it wrong,

shattering my heart a little more

and directing me back again

to tenderness.