Remembrance

Quieting August 13, 2018

When time seemed to

speed up

and the challenges were

too big for a fractured part

of self,

it became necessary to

evolve.

There was a willingness

to keep my heart open to

the remembrance of

what I had come here

to share.

Life became a continuous,

delicate and sacred transformation

into tenderness.

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Gently Whispered Prayers

Unsorted August 11, 2018

Words formed out of silence — from a higher place. Somehow, in a not so mysterious kind of way, gently whispered prayers connected an expanded sense of self..

A new kind of thought was born

out of a willingness to reach back  —

offering comforting words,

while remaining open

to the same gently whispered prayers

from somewhere beyond this time.

Transformation into Tenderness

Unsorted August 5, 2018

I found it worked best

to connect with parts of me

that needed attention.

I learned I could hold these parts

without needing them to change.

The first time I noticed I could, in fact,

affect my experience in the world

in a gentle way —

without analyzing or retraumatizing —

without a desperate search,

I had no more need for

less effective ways of coping

that had served to carry me

to a safer place.

Whatever appeared as a reflection

to this safe place within

would be enough.

And when the the outer experience

didn’t match what was felt in my heart,

I held my ground.

It wasn’t always comfortable,

but it was a continuous,

delicate and sacred transformation

into tenderness.

Always

Continuing On July 17, 2018

Sometimes the only thing

I knew to do

was to keep going,

which undoubtedly meant

surrendering to the creative flow

of life.

And so there was the

painful dropping of pieces

I had held so carefully

and an understanding

I seemed to have with God

that I would sometimes

hold on a little longer,

push ahead,

lose my center,

and struggle to find any

resemblance of grace.

But I would always keep going.

Keep Going

Continuing On July 16, 2018

Each time another challenge arose,

I was reminded of how

it could have been —

had I not allowed the process

of expanding to happen

so freely.

There was frustration as old

patterns and emotions were

brought to the surface,

and I was tempted to retreat–

just a little.

I learned to turn

inward and hold my ground —

refusing to quit before

the next tender place

was reached.

Sometimes my prayer sounded

more like a tired scream through

swallowed tears

than a comforting whisper.

But there was always

tenderness close by —

as I dared to keep going.

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Carefully Gathered and Released

Reflections July 7, 2018

The process of creating

involved a tender aching

of the heart

as carefully gathered pieces

were released back into

nothingnes, again,

and my heart dared to bear

the moment before they appeared

again, in a new way —

a little unexpectedly.

I understood, in those moments,

why it is tempting

not to endure this process,

at times,

reaching instead for a seemingly

less painful option.

♡ I’m  happy to say I just finished my 4th book, What Now. (Thank you, Michelle.)

https://lauriesnotes.com/my-book/

Out of Nothingness

Quieting June 30, 2018

It was the small miracles,

the quiet inspirations, that kept my heart

pressing on long enough

to find a path that didn’t lead

further away from itself.

It was the gentle, comforting way

words formed out of nothingness

and courage was found

to look challenges in the face —

knowing the transformative power

of surrender first hand.

It was the remembrance of the

turning away from my own heart

and that first step

taken to find a way back.