How Could We Not?

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Reflections / Unsorted

It takes a certain kind of conviction to become willing to hold both shadows and light and vow to find true peace without having reached the lowest possible low. It takes a certain kind of spiritual maturity and grace to look a little further down the path ahead and return to the present moment —  trusting our steps to be guided toward creativity and miracles instead of despair.

Sometimes we are touched so deeply by the desire to assist each other, the generation behind us, or our own inner children. The question then becomes, “How could we not?”


From There

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As I looked back

on the long journey,

the thought came

that if I had to choose

a place to start again,

I would go back

to the first time

I was moved

to trust

my own heart —

when there was nothing

left to try

except to drop everything

and find out

what was left.

I would start again

from there.

— Laurie, What Now

What Is Left

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After all of

the holding

and letting go,

more than I ever thought


what is left

is a silence,

a reverence —

a trace of lingering sadness,

a treasured tenderness

surrounded by the

purest love.

— Laurie, What’s Right Here

In This Moment and the Next

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Sometimes prayers

become wordless —

when there are

a million words

in the heart,

but not one

to match

the rawness

of emotion felt.

And so I offer

my deepest silent


to the place

of peace

in us all

in this moment

and the next.

And I honor

our steps

as we find our way.

— Laurie, What Now

A little More Gently

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Parts of me stood firmly — refusing to budge until I began to look more and more deeply,  reconnecting with my whole self. There was a sense of gratitude for parts that had urged me to keep reaching for deeper answers and deeper questions.

When reintegrated with my whole being, I found these parts willing to work with me — a little more gently.

Carried Gently

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The shifts toward greater alignment with my heart were painfully subtle at times, but I learned that movement is movement.  I found any amount of flexibility in my mind and body could be held and carried into more movement and more gentle guiding of unaligned fragments of Self back to the center of my deepest heart — in each moment.

Unshakeable Peace

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Words began to flow ever so slowly from a gentler place within. It was an aquired taste to be willing to stand still in a sea of unsorted, sometimes painful thoughts and wait for a new kind of thought to form, but I was more than willing.

I had lived the contrast long enough. There was no mistaking the feeling of truth in my body as I dared to let old patterns fall aside and stood shaking in the empty space.

I had become willing to reach for the unshakeable foundation of peace I had sensed in others who had taken the time to share their words with me. Knowing that someone else had found something real and saw sharing with me in my state of confusion as worthwhile gave me just enough courage to make a series of  leaps of faith.

I had heard people often need to reach their own personal lows in order to find the necessary strength to surrender to a higher power and search for a new way. But in that moment, I realized it was possible to be inspired not only by despair, but also by overwhelming tenderness.

Within the Stillness of My Self

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There was a continuous movement within the stillness of my true Self. It was the softening of all parts of me that had felt separate and lost in repetitive cycles of emotional pain.

I had reached the place of enough is enough and decided to find my way to tenderness. Tenderness came out of the realization I was reliving the exact same old pain I had vowed to never feel again. It came out of the last bit of gathered strength to try one more time to hold and honor it instead.