Category: Reflections

A Space of Love

Reflections July 22, 2018

The more I dared

to hold a space of love,

the closer I seemed to be

to a deeper part of me.

At a certain point it was

most natural to be this space

in my heart

and in the world.

This is where I found

my deepest comfort and peace.

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Carefully Gathered and Released

Reflections July 7, 2018

The process of creating

involved a tender aching

of the heart

as carefully gathered pieces

were released back into

nothingnes, again,

and my heart dared to bear

the moment before they appeared

again, in a new way —

a little unexpectedly.

I understood, in those moments,

why it is tempting

not to endure this process,

at times,

reaching instead for a seemingly

less painful option.

♡ I’m  happy to say I just finished my 4th book, What Now. (Thank you, Michelle.)

https://lauriesnotes.com/my-book/

Enough

Reflections April 3, 2018

One day I got it that life isn’t supposed to get completely sorted out. I understood there is always a place of unsettledness. Who’s to say what and how much to sort through and surrender and how much to leave alone in the transformative state of raw tenderness?

I couldn’t help but look back on all the time and energy spent trying find someone or something to help me out of the mess in my head. I thought of all the countless dramas I had acted out in my life in hope of a solution to this unresolved trauma — my piece of the collective suffering.

Then I got it that at any point I could have seen that I was okay with where I was (because of course I was more okay than I knew). I could have identified with the healer in me, the totality of all of the parts of me that had struggled to find relief — not knowing they didn’t need to go it alone.

And so in that moment, I vowed to not waste one more bit of energy doing things that only tired me out, including all useless kinds of thinking. I vowed to keep my heart open to the quiet prayer within.

Sometimes enough is enough.

A Gentler Way

Reflections March 31, 2018

For a while, parts of me did their best to survive. The noise created in my mind served as a way to focus away from attempts to sort out what couldn’t be processed completely from that place. Had I been able to access more highly consious parts of me, I would have been shown a gentler way.

In truth, I was shown this gentler way, but needed to reach a place where I could hear more clearly. I needed to step out of that seemingly separate and fractured self.

There, in the sacred space of my true Self,  instead of struggling against parts of the whole, I became healer of my own heart.

If Only For a Moment

Reflections March 2, 2018

I found all things eventually reached the point where there was no real option but to let go and trust in a higher wisdom. Trying to hold on too tightly never really worked out.

Again and again, I was faced with increasingly complex experiences where my only hope was to trust I would be met and guided by my healer self with each step. In those moments, I wasn’t depending on my own limited sense of self in a separate body. I was in a state of listening prayer.I was deeply present and receptive to higher inspiration, wherever it came from.

I let go of all forms of thought that didn’t feel like higher inspiration. All stories in my mind that reinforced separateness had to be set down — if only for a moment.