One day I got it that life isn’t supposed to get completely sorted out. I understood there is always a place of unsettledness. Who’s to say what and how much to sort through and surrender and how much to leave alone in the transformative state of raw tenderness? I couldn’t help but look back on all the time and energy spent trying find someone or something to help me out of the mess in my […]
For a while, parts of me did their best to survive. The noise created in my mind served as a way to focus away from attempts to sort out what couldn’t be processed completely from that place. Had I been able to access more highly consious parts of me, I would have been shown a gentler way. In truth, I was shown this gentler way, but needed to reach a place where I could hear […]
No words were needed each time I found my way to the quiet prayer in my heart. Words carried there faded with the light of the presence of my own healer Self. The urge to look outward for relief in times of challenge was replaced with the understanding beyond thought found within and reflected outward.
The next part was easy — at a certain point. Holding all of the pieces of my heart, there was just one more step, the release. I stopped trying so hard to fit the pieces together as a separate little me. And I reached for something higher. It was the sweetest kind of surrender.
I found all things eventually reached the point where there was no real option but to let go and trust in a higher wisdom. Trying to hold on too tightly never really worked out. Again and again, I was faced with increasingly complex experiences where my only hope was to trust I would be met and guided by my healer self with each step. In those moments, I wasn’t depending on my own limited sense […]
There was pain in returning to wholeness. It was painful to reach back to parts of myself stuck in the past. And it was painful to begin to feel the pain of others as my own pain. But there was no turning back. There was a tenderness in tapping into truth that I was unwilling to let go of again. And so I continued to meet each unfolding moment from a state of prayer — […]
Maybe it was seeing the stories on the surface become unbearable that made jumping into the unknown seem less scary for a moment. Perhaps it was having been touched so deeply by the sharing of others or the desire to play a part in the shattering of old patterns of suffering. Perhaps it was a combination of these things that caused my heart to make a gesture to future generations through healing and softening my […]
Healing deeply meant finding a way to reach in to parts of Self — where it would have been easier not to. It meant reaching a place where surface responses and insights were no longer an option. It meant becoming humble enough to reach into the unknown space within my own heart for guidance in each moment with the resolve to find my way and remain there and in a world finding its own heart […]
I learned that creative processes held an element of messiness. I couldn’t really know when the pieces would come together — forming something more beautiful and tender than I had imagined. It was tempting to look at the pieces and see only the mess. And so I practiced looking from a little higher view.
Healing deeply was a little different than I had first expected it to be. I had to learn to hold and let go of all the pieces of my heart. I learned to reach for my own inner healer — listening beyond stories and thought — holding space for all that was unhealed in me — respecting the tenderness, authentic beauty, compassion and peace I found there that couldn’t have been taught. I began to […]