In That Moment

It seemed to be important

to be in the world

at that particular moment.

Somehow I knew it must have mattered

in some way

that I had managed to make it that far,

having lost my heart and soul…

almost, but not quite.

Sure enough, they were still in tact —


And… there was, in that exact moment,

no way to avoid, not look, numb,

justify or unsee what had been

seen through.

There was the overwhelming

sense of powerlessness to protect what had

been held so sacred in my heart,

sometimes by a thread.

And although screaming wore me out

and added to the intensity and insanity

of it all,

I allowed myself to scream.

It had taken so long to be able

to scream again,

only to feel like I was just in time

to be too late,

turned away and unheard

while facing impossible choices


Only this time something had shifted,

if only in the unseen

silent prayer

and inner promise to God

to do whatever was required

to remain connected to my soul

in that moment,

as I had practiced,

not so gracefully.

so many times before.

Somehow it had mattered.


There was a


of the story

on the surface,

a gentle resetting.

The default emotion

become one of


the very thing

my heart had

longed for

and called me to.

There was a more

natural connection

with all of life,

a gentle unfolding

of the quiet prayer

within my heart.

Silent pauses became

welcome parts

of the relaxation into

a gentler way

of being.

With Love

I hold

what is here

with love —

the natural unfolding,

this clear space,

the reverence —

all of this,

including all that is

painful and confusing.

Even as I feel

the shifting ground

beneath me,

I accept and love

all of it

as it is —

right here.

I know these arms

have held

the indescribable pain

of separateness,

reaching inward

and through —

daring to hold

ALL of the pieces

of their own

shattered heart

even before it was

clear they were

not broken —

because somewhere,

underneath the confusion,

a quiet prayer was


A New Path

I found

it was possible

to turn in the direction

of natural unity

and abilities

in a world that had

put just about


above the sacredness

of its own soul

and body.

I found it was possible

to look

at where I stood

and choose

to take a different path —

to not get lost

in the grieving of

what could have been

or settle for

bad copies

of what was still

pure —

to remember

what had been kept

hidden and safe


my own heart

and to use the skills

I had learned

to find

or create

a new path.