Category: Unsorted

Something Beautiful

Tenderness, Unsorted December 2, 2018

There was a longing for some missed step along the way, some kind of orientation to life or honoring of the intensity of the spiritual journey that didn’t happen soon enough. And so finding my way back to where I could sense a loving higher self had been a long, tedious journey.

The process of gathering up fractured parts of self came with its own kind of heartache. Somehow, thankfully, it also came with added tenderness. That’s what kept me in the game. It was the awe at how I kept finding just the right piece just before I really needed it and the resolve to stick with myself no matter what.  It was the determination  to learn to trust life and to turn what looked like a complete mess into something beautiful — again and again.

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Unfilled

Lessons From Anorexia, Unsorted November 28, 2018

All things were returned to their rightful place. Parts of self matured naturally with the unconditional presence held by those who had endured brokenness and the intimate process of putting the pieces back — having taken care to leave a tender space unfilled where it would have been easier to attempt to fill it up. What was once desperate attempts at survival became wisdom and loving self-restraint.

A New Kind of Thought

Quieting, Unsorted September 29, 2018

Sometimes there were no words. And then somehow, mysteriously, worlds began to well up from somewhere beyond. A new kind of thought from a gentler place began to transform all that seemed unreachable. Gentle prayers began to take form out of the resolve to surrender everything  — just to remember this place for a moment.

There came a desire to remain in this place within — just a little longer — no matter what appeared on the surface or how big the challenges seemed.

Gently Whispered Prayers

Unsorted August 11, 2018

Words formed out of silence — from a higher place. Somehow, in a not so mysterious kind of way, gently whispered prayers connected an expanded sense of self.

A new kind of thought was born

out of a willingness to reach back  —

offering comforting words,

while remaining open

to the same gently whispered prayers

from somewhere beyond this time.

Transformation into Tenderness

Unsorted August 5, 2018

I found it worked best

to connect with parts of me

that needed attention.

I learned I could hold these parts

without needing them to change.

The first time I noticed I could, in fact,

affect my experience in the world

in a gentle way —

without analyzing or retraumatizing —

without a desperate search,

I had no more need for

less effective ways of coping

that had served to carry me

to a safer place.

Whatever appeared as a reflection

to this safe place within

would be enough.

And when the the outer experience

didn’t match what was felt in my heart,

I held my ground.

It wasn’t always comfortable,

but it was a continuous,

delicate and sacred transformation

into tenderness.

Somehow

Continuing On, Unsorted June 24, 2018

When I looked back, after a while, the story I had carried had faded. It was the subtler, sometimes painfully subtle story beyond the surface that kept my attention.

It was the faint memory of all the times I had managed to allow a quieting,  just enough to hear the quiet prayer spoken from my own heart — somewhere long ago.

It was each moment I had allowed my heart to remain open, even though I was sure I didn’t know how to continue on, that had woven a more beautiful story — somehow.