Reconnection

I learned that in order to retain the delicate

reconnection with my true Self,

there was to be a clean cut

with all that was of false light.

There were moments of extreme grief

and disbelief as one piece after another,

all that was holding my heart from

it’s true calling was torn back.

I did my best to gather up anything

that might help in retracing my steps

and somehow returning with some kind

of treasure to share —

which helped to create a sense

of meaning in the pain.

Eventually, even carefully gathered treasures

had to be set down — for a while,

adding to the already immense grief

I didn’t know if my heart could bear.

But it was at that point I began to

understand tenderness and

compassion and grace

more deeply.

And I knew I could never

turn back.

The Most Loving Thing

There was tenderness

in the persistent way

pieces of my own heart

longed for understanding

and in the gentle way

they became willing

to surrender

the need to grasp —

to step outside

neatly sorted

concepts and ideas

and every place

that was comfortable

and guaranteed —

to toss it all up

again and again

because it was

the most loving thing.

In Trust

There were times

when the absolute best

I could do

was take the very next

needed step in trust

that the next

would appear

just as needed —

just as it had

always been.

And in-between these

small leaps of faith,

the voices of doubt grew

so much quieter

that I found myself

straining¬†to hear —

as if their presence

could offer

any real security.

Funny, I had thought

they did.

Beautiful Emptiness

With all of the pieces

gathered up,

after having glimpsed

the true peace

at the bottom of

the deep abyss below,

I let go

of everything

and jumped.

I stopped seeking,

stopped questioning,

stopped trying

to know the exact right

way to do it.

This time,

I trusted the pieces

to fall where they needed

to fall.

And I held on

to the beautiful

emptiness in the very center

of my heart instead.