Tag: healing

A Longing for Protection

Lessons From Anorexia, Unsorted July 8, 2020

The thing with evil

was it didn’t show up

overtly and say, “I want to harm

you or worse.”

It showed up in response to

a vulnerable, traumatized part

of Self that held

a longing for protection

and safety.

It said, “I will protect you.”

This is not to say there weren’t

other forces of light

that truly offered

true healing or that good and truth

didn’t prevail in the end.

Still, it snuck in

and worked slowly and gained trust

as a protector.

It showed up in me as

anorexia, which we know

doesn’t ever end well without

extreme measures of intervention

and clearly didn’t have

my best interests in mind.

But I found it takes

many forms.

United

From A Quiet Prayer, Unsorted July 6, 2020

I learned there is nothing

comparable to the strength

of the human spirit

when aligned with its creator

and wililling, win or lose,

to protect all that is innocent,

sacred and true.

I learned there is no greater joy

or frightening responsibility

than the vow to preserve

something sacred,

no matter what —

or to hold and  honor what had

once been threatened,

knowing nothing could ever

divide what is and has always been

forever, divinely

connected and united.

God’s Whisper

Lessons From Anorexia June 30, 2020

Out of necessity,

I learned things weren’t

what they appeared to be

on the surface.

I learned the importance of

looking deeper, listening,

and following

that quiet whisper of a prayer

inside my heart —

after a desperate attempt

to separate myself from myself

and the pain of separation became

more painful than any other scenario.

I learned to look just beneath the surface

and hold on to God’s whisper

when it became necessary

to stand alone.

And so I am forever grateful

for the lessons learned

on the way back to my heart.

Whatever Was Required

Lessons From Anorexia, Unsorted June 30, 2020

There was a time when

the vast contrast between

what I knew to be true

in my heart

and what I observed in the world

around me was too painful to hold,

and I choose

to surrender my heart.

And then there came a time when

the pain of being separated

from my heart

and the very real effect of

a withering soul taken over

by darkness

gave rise to something surprising —

a renewed spirit that had no need

for any kind of attachment

to deception —

a whole spirit unafraid to face,

hold or let go of whatever appeared —

whatever was required.

Peace in Allowing

Soothing April 3, 2020

I found it most beneficial

to enter what I would later call

a prayer break

during times of deep healing.

I intuitively took actions that needed

to be taken —

letting go of everything

that could wait,

I spent my time with nature, creativity,

simple and nourishing foods,

and meditations (including moving

meditations)

and words from the most

nurturing and wise

healers I could find.

While I was able to trust

my own inner support,

I found it comforting to listen

and feel for truth in the words of others.

I found peace in allowing all emotions and

triggers, while becoming more refined at

responding from more healed parts of me.

I learned to take in information from

the inner and outer and “toss it all”

to my higher self or God.

I found peace in allowing

the pieces to fall back down —

a little at a time —

in ways I could easily understand.

Where There Is No Path

Continuing On, Unsorted November 16, 2019

I found there were many 

forks in the road,

many places to choose

to walk where there is

no path,

where pain is held, honored

and transformed again and again —

each time leaving a little more space

for the one thing strong enough

to balance the traces of pain inevitably

left over from often difficult journeys,

the one thing strong enough to hold all

of the pieces

of an authentic life —

the space within our hearts.

My Deepest Heart

Remembrance September 27, 2019

I began to notice moments

of unfolding tenderness.

It was okay if there were

challenging moments.

I had learned that experiences

were always transforming

and, like the wind,

could change course

in an instant.

And it was enough to know

I could, in any moment,

hold or allow myself to be carried

by the sweet, gentle breeze

of my deepest heart.

Where There Was Tenderness

Tenderness, Unsorted September 27, 2019

I found reprieve in

the remembrance of the quiet peace

ever present within my deepest heart.

I found a willingness to listen

a little deeper —

to observe a little longer —

to be carried and

set back down gently

in the present moment

where there was tenderness.

After a while, it was difficult

to see how I could have moved

through life in any other way.