Laurie's Notes

One day I let go

a little more

of the need to be

completely sorted

or to fit

into any image

or category.

And on that day,

I became

just me.

I began to capture moments —

noticing what was there —

seeing, feeling, sensing

beyond these things.

Always at a certain point,

I let go of it all.

I let go of the need

to capture

or explain

or direct.

This is the place

I have taken myself to.

I looked back

on all of the many

twists and turns,

all that didn’t happen

as planned,

all the paths

I passed by

and all the words

I didn’t write.

And I couldn’t imagine

having missed

all that came my way

in their place.

And so the most precious pieces

began to show up —

treasures beyond words.

And I could almost

not hold them —

for fear that I might not

have in me the words

to express the honor

and gratitude

and sincere love

that I felt.

I would have to trust

that my silent prayers

would be enough.

And so it was

this holding,

this willingness

to stand still,

to honor

and move through

all that appeared

that created space

for the most gentle

and beautiful healing

to unfold.

I found I could

walk through

the challenges of this life.

I found I could stand

a little longer

and let go

a little more

of needing

to sort it all out.

And it was here,

in the middle of it all,

in these most sacred spaces —

where I first discovered

a peace that never left.

Sometimes there was

nothing to do —

just a natural flow,

a stopping —

no need

to analyze or fix

or try so hard

to heal —

only deep connection

and gratitude

for those who were able

to meet me

in that place.

And so the thought came

to go back

to how it was

before there was

just this —

back when there was

up and down

and forward and back.

But of course I knew

by then

that there really was

no going back —

only this ever-deepening love.