What Seemed to Be

I found I could hold

what seemed to be

the most extreme opposites,

the deepest pain

and the most tender 

all the pieces

I couldn’t have sorted

as the me

I once thought

I was.

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10 thoughts on “What Seemed to Be

  1. Ah yes. How can it be? It is almost as if we need the opposites to know what anything is. We need deep sorrow to know deep joy. The dark gives us appreciation of the light, and we acknowledge and honor the importance of both, the necessity of both, in this web of life. I’m curious about your last lines: “…all the pieces I couldn’t have sorted as the me I once thought I was.” Do you mean that you were trying to sort but couldn’t, and the new you knows that sorting isn’t necessary, or do you mean that the new you knows how to sort? Or something else? Thank you for sharing your beautiful self so openly.

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    • Awe…hmm.. I appreciate your question. Thanks!
      I don’t really think so much as just let the words come when I stop and write… so sometimes it is later after a little more reflection that it is more clear.
      I think the more expanded part of me does sort and arrange pieces… differently..more naturally. So maybe it means there isn’t the straining kind of trying so hard.
      That’s how it felt when I arranged my little books. I trusted and followed a subtle inner feeling.
      It is like that when I write here too. Then it gives my normal thinking brain a little riddle to figure out while comforting a deeper part. Kind of funny how it works 🙂 I also realize there is really no end to that trying to figure out mind place. So I think I would have gone in circles forever with my thinking mind and trying to heal all of my wounded places.
      (Writing this with an active little one here. I know you know how that is:))

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    • … Sometimes just a few words come through that connect with a deeper part of me and my normal thinking mind doesn’t even really figure out the whole meaning. That’s how it works for me. It feels like that –like that thinking mind kind of surrenders and doesn’t have to figure out in order for the deeper places to be comforted. I think it is a relief to my mind too. 🙂

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      • I love this. It reminds me so much of how artists respond to questions about their work…I remember being a child and drawing portrait after portrait, figure after figure, and people would always ask me, “Who is that?” And I would never have an answer, because it was always someone from my imagination, and drawing was such a natural thing for me to do. I suspected you might answer in this way. It’s actually a relief to hear about your open-hearted, innocent feeling process–to know that there is nothing calculated, rather it is an opening to what is there, a discovery. This sounds so much more organic and healthy and authentically beautiful than trying to force meaning on something that comes from a place deeper than the linear explanations that our logical minds crave. Big hugs and so much gratitude for your courage to trust your own process. It is inspiring for me to witness. ❤

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