Tag: poetry

In This Place

Continuing On December 31, 2020

Perhaps the most painful lesson

on the journey

was allowing things to be

unresolved —

unsorted.

It was a little different than

giving in. It was definitely not

giving up., but I had to learn

to hold a place for all that was unsettled —

trusting in previous lessons learned

about truth and love and the fluidity

of all states —

knowing beyond all doubt that

there was tenderness in this place.

Reconnection

Letting Go December 16, 2020

I learned that in order to retain the delicate

reconnection with my true Self,

there was to be a clean cut

with all that was of false light.

There were moments of extreme grief

and disbelief as one piece after another,

all that was holding my heart from

it’s true calling was torn back.

I did my best to gather up anything

that might help in retracing my steps

and somehow returning with some kind

of treasure to share —

which helped to create a sense

of meaning in the pain.

Eventually, even carefully gathered treasures

had to be set down — for a while,

adding to the already immense grief

I didn’t know if my heart could bear.

But it was at that point I began to

understand tenderness and

compassion and grace

more deeply.

And I knew I could never

turn back.

Worth Living

Continuing On November 27, 2020

There were so many moments

of decision,

so many chances to take one more step

and to trust it was indeed safe to hold

out for truth

just one more last time.

I learned the art of turning inward,

healing deeply

all the parts of me that were

frightened and exhausted from years

of being disconnected from each other

and from God.

I learned there was a powerful

spirit of pure, real love —

not the imitation or false light

I had strived for.

No, not that.

This unexpected rising up of pure

Spirit was what had brought me

through trials and encouraged me

when I didn’t think I could endure.

And it was this very rising up

that, each time I glanced at the road

behind me, made the whole journey

worth living.

Again

Holding November 1, 2020

It was difficult to hold

many things.

It was difficult to comprehend

that the world wasn’t

how it appeared on the surface.

I had known that at an early age

and had continued on.

It was disheartening to know

and be unable to be heard —

as so many times before.

Yet I remained thankful for strength

to hold it all anyway —

and to remain connected

to God and to my heart

this time

and to welcome new friends

and new experiences

as I learned to notice

and nurture the smallest

bit of hope and pure joy

again.

Every Single Time

Tenderness, Unsorted September 25, 2020

There came a time

when it didn’t matter

how many lies were spoken

or if they were repeated

by every single person around me.

My love of truth had grown so great

and my determination to

move in the direction of truth

and to never again be disconnected

from my own true Self had become

just what I do.

I had learned to respond to my own

inner reality and to create

from there.

Of course the darkness was

difficult to walk through.

And I admit I wasn’t always graceful.

But I reminded myself in the darkest

of times that without fail, every single time

I faced the path ahead and walked it

all the way,

all I remembered was the incredible light

and magic I had experienced.

Come What May

Unsorted September 23, 2020

It was challenging

to hold on to what was true

in my heart

and move in a world that was

so disconnected.

There were times I let go

of my heart

because the contrast was so vast

There then came a time when

the pain of separation became unbearable,

and I chose my heart again

and forever–

come what may.

Unseen

Continuing On, Unsorted August 30, 2020

Just when I thought

there was no hope,

just when darkness seemed

to have won,

I learned something surprising.

I learned this was the perfect

set up for an equal and opposite

surge of light

that would outshine every last

bit of darkness.

And once lit,

nothing could put it out

What was seen could never be

unseen.

What Remained

Continuing On, Unsorted July 26, 2020

For the most part,

what remained was the sweet

tenderness of the journey.

It was a bit of a jolt

when the dark nights appeared.

But with each one came

a little more light, pointing the way,

ever so clearly, to my true essence

and connection with my true Self.

It was, of course, difficult

during those intense times

of clearing out and letting go.

There was grief.

There was a lot of grief.

And there was, when I dared to trust

and keep going,

an ever expanding space of

tenderness,

which I wouldn’t have traded

for the chance to hold on

to anything else.