Tag: Higher self

Hope for the Best

Laurie's Notes1 Comment

I learned to focus

and remain centered within

my heart.

I found respite in the sacredness

when the world around me seemed

unreachable,

and I couldn’t seem

to bridge the gap between my inner

experience and the outer chaos.

The harder I tried,

the bigger it became.

I remembered back to times before

when the only solution I could see

was to let go of my heart

in order to survive and somehow

manage to fit in.

But this time I had traveled too far

and learned too much.

And so the only thing to do,

having reached the end of the path,

was to stand still right there in my heart,

in the middle of the chaos,

and hope for the best.

Ever So Slightly

Laurie's Notes1 Comment

Somehow I had dared

to listen to the quiet prayer

in my heart.

I had tried and exhausted

every other option

in my search for peace.

Truthfully, there was really

no better option.

It was shocking at first to,

in a sense, start over again

in my search.

But I began to sense a natural

peace within me and allow

this peace to expand — ever so slightly.

It was a sensing from within,

a quiet prayer from a deeper me.

It didn’t matter so much if things appeared

peaceful on the surface.

It didn’t depend on my body

or mind being still.

What mattered was my

willingness to show up just

as I was and to be with whatever

met me there.

Somehow

Laurie's Notes3 Comments

For a while

it seemed something had

gone terribly wrong.

I had lived through

much contrast and

overcome many challenges.

And yet part of me still felt unsafe

as the contrast continued.

Somehow, just like the very first time

I dared to stop and allow

all of the pieces I had been holding

a little too tightly

to fall around me,

I found the courage again

to gather up the pieces

and sink a little more deeply

into my heart —

taking one more step

into tenderness.

This Space Within My Heart

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It made no difference

how many times I seemed

to lose my footing.

It didn’t matter how many

times I fell.

After a while,

I understood I could

always find my way again.

After a while, I realized

I was, in fact,

this space within my heart.

I came to understand I had

survived something difficult

and landed in a lower vibration —

for a while

where the sound of my soul

seemed faint.

But I could find my way

again.

Within the Unfolding

Laurie's Notes1 Comment

Life continued to unfold.

With the reconnection

to a deeper sense of self

came a lingering sadness

for the difficult path

traveled in order to reach

a more expanded view

and for the equally difficult

path of awakening

of the greater whole.

Becoming more at ease within

the unfolding took a little bit

of getting used to.

It helped to remember

to remain in the sacred space

of the present moment —

where spirit, body,

and higher mind were joined —

where reprieve and healing

had been found so many times.

Something Beautiful

Laurie's Notes4 Comments

There was a longing for some missed step along the way, some kind of orientation to life or honoring of the intensity of the spiritual journey that didn’t happen soon enough. And so finding my way back to where I could sense a loving higher self had been a long, tedious journey.

The process of gathering up fractured parts of self came with its own kind of heartache. Somehow, thankfully, it also came with added tenderness. That’s what kept me in the game. It was the awe at how I kept finding just the right piece just before I really needed it and the resolve to stick with myself no matter what.  It was the determination  to learn to trust life and to turn what looked like a complete mess into something beautiful — again and again.

Against All Odds

Laurie's Notes1 Comment

There were moments of deeply felt grief, having endured a long, intense spiritual and human journey. There were regrets and lingering physical scars and emotional wounds.  And there was tenderness, something that was understood deep down to somehow be the whole point.

There was the understanding, in the brief moments of outer calm, that I had given up many things on this journey — but not this. I wouldn’t have been able to endure without this tenderness of spirit.

I wouldn’t have been able to be present in a world of challenges without having broken apart and come back together. I wouldn’t have been able to look at overwhelming challenges and destruction without knowing what is possible. I had been to the edge of destruction in my own way and had, against all odds, transformed — not with my own limited human self alone, but in cooperation with something much bigger that I didn’t quite understand.

At a certain point, it became clear that standing on the edge of destruction was only one way this thing could go. It was possible to be moved also by respect and compassion for having made it so far and the passion to prevent future suffering wherever I could. It was possible to nurture and allow the smallest spark of pure love to ignite.

A Quiet Prayer

Laurie's Notes2 Comments

For a time,

everything reflected back

a sense of disconnection,

but there was a faded memory

of a deeper truth

just beneath the surface —

a quiet prayer that,

when held just lightly enough,

began the gentle task

of transformation.

Life was returned

to the sacred prayer

it was meant to be.

All things were held safely

within this transformation

into tenderness.