Memory of My Soul

After a while I learned

to let go a little more deeply

into the mystery.

I had allowed myself to feel

the quiet prayer of my heart.

And so there was no turning back —

not really.

it didn’t matter how many challenges

appeared in front of me

or how many times I found myself

straining to regain my footing in a world

I had tried so hard to understand —

grasping for any small sign

of something meaningful or true.

I became willing to set down

everything else in exchange

for one more small memory

of my soul.

In This Place

And so every experience,

no matter how painful or beautiful,

eventually led back to my heart.

It didn’t matter how long

I put off the inevitable prayer

of surrender.

Every single time I found my way

to that quiet prayer

and the immediate respite in

the instant recentering.

It didn’t matter that much of life

remained messy and parts

of the unfolding story would

most likely bring with them

a tenderness almost too raw to bear.

All of it eventually ended up

in this place.

Without a Doubt

The delicate process of holding on,

letting go, and reaching without grasping

led to a gentler path.

There I learned the value of

tenderness and became willing to

set down many things in exchange for

a deeper connection with life.

I knew without a doubt that

whatever appeared would eventually lead

back to a tender place in my own heart.

And so I became willing to bear the ache

of leftover traces of unhealed and

unresolved experiences —

willing to be in this place where there are

no guarantees —

willing to show up in each moment

with a quiet prayer and renewed reverence

for the sacred journey,

however it unfolded.

Something Beautiful

The transition into tenderness

required delicate footing.

I learned to look a little

more deeply into my surroundings.

Nothing was at it seemed,

but that meant

something beautiful must be

hidden beneath what appeared.

I learned to look a little more deeply

into what was there,

intuitively drawn to remain

in each moment —

no matter what —

determined to find just one

small sign of beauty

when at first glance,

all was dark —

holding each faint whisper of hope —

becoming more determined with each step

to help it to grow.

Remembrance

What looked like a dead end

to the path less taken

turned into more of

a vertical journey within,

reflecting outward.

and becoming even more connected

with God and with my own

heart.

There was a gratitude beyond words

for each tiny piece of truth

that added to an unshakeable knowing —

the remembrance of my very essence

that could never be broken —

a tender space

where there had once been

only pain.

A Little Magic

I found a little magic

in the reclaimed ability to transform

all that was painful

into something tender.

It was each momentary remembrance

of the first time

I dared to turn down the noise

around me and inside

that carried me gently back

to my heart again

and again.

It was the courage to stand

in the quiet space within

just a little longer,

allowing all that was unsorted

and unhealed

to be held without condition

just a little more deeply

that attuned me

to the continuous quiet prayer

in my heart

and reconnected me

to my soul.

After Everything

The quiet prayer in my heart

continued on

no matter how many times I seemed

to forget to listen.

It was there in the quiet moments

when I dared to gather up all

of the confusion and anxieties

and frustration and ongoing traumas

playing out all around me.

It was there in the aha moments

when I became quiet enough to remember

all I had forgotten to gather up —

all the little bits of hope and the pure

miraculous way they still existed

after everything.

It was there when I remembered

just one small, sweet memory

of the journey —

a time when I seemed to be

completely alone but realized I was not.

In a sea of traumatic memories

and the long list of things lost,

what stood out, if I looked

and listened a little deeper,

was tenderness.