Tag: Tenderness

Where There Was Tenderness

Tenderness, Unsorted September 27, 2019

I found reprieve in

the remembrance of the quiet peace

ever present within my deepest heart.

I found a willingness to listen

a little deeper —

to observe a little longer —

to be carried and

set back down gently

in the present moment

where there was tenderness.

After a while, it was difficult

to see how I could have moved

through life in any other way.

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Back into Tenderness

Tenderness, Unsorted September 10, 2019

There was a settling in

to the rhythm of the once faint

quiet prayer in my heart.

Of course it was extremely difficult

to stay centered

and often impossible to be as

graceful on the surface

as the prayer in my heart.

But I did my best to release

my hold on how I thought

this life should unfold,

understanding that contrast was

in fact part of the game.

And I allowed myself to be

carried through contrast and

challenges —

back into tenderness.

Somehow

Within the Mystery April 15, 2019

For a while

it seemed something had

gone terribly wrong.

I had lived through

much contrast and

overcome many challenges.

And yet part of me still felt unsafe

as the contrast continued.

Somehow, just like the very first time

I dared to stop and allow

all of the pieces I had been holding

a little too tightly

to fall around me,

I found the courage again

to gather up the pieces

and sink a little more deeply

into my heart —

taking one more step

into tenderness.

Something Beautiful

Tenderness March 4, 2019

Sometimes words and tears

didn’t come.

Sometimes standing

in the empty space where words

and tears should have been

was the exact right place.

It’s where I found the most

shattered parts of my heart,

dusted them off

with my very last bit

of strength,

and promised to somehow

fit the pieces together and make

something beautiful of the mess —

again.

Of course each time I

realized the impact

of the imperfect journey

and willingness to show up

in that very moment —

breaking through my fear

of getting it wrong,

shattering my heart a little more

and directing me back again

to tenderness.

A Love Nothing Could Touch

Tenderness February 22, 2019

It was a little risky to dare to understand tenderness. It meant first knowing the opposite. It meant knowing bitter coldness and disconnect, the only way out being back through painful layers of healing as each healed layer began to let in a little more light of hope and courage to continue on. Aiming to get to a future place or remaining stuck in past stories became courage to drop more deeply into the present. It was an extreme path — the result being the capacity to hold and love the most traumatized parts of the human experience. There was accumulated trauma from painful attempts to heal the original trauma, and there was a love and compassion nothing could ever touch or take away.

Something Beautiful

Tenderness, Unsorted December 2, 2018

There was a longing for some missed step along the way, some kind of orientation to life or honoring of the intensity of the spiritual journey that didn’t happen soon enough. And so finding my way back to where I could sense a loving higher self had been a long, tedious journey.

The process of gathering up fractured parts of self came with its own kind of heartache. Somehow, thankfully, it also came with added tenderness. That’s what kept me in the game. It was the awe at how I kept finding just the right piece just before I really needed it and the resolve to stick with myself no matter what.  It was the determination  to learn to trust life and to turn what looked like a complete mess into something beautiful — again and again.

Against All Odds

Tenderness November 30, 2018

There were moments of deeply felt grief, having endured a long, intense spiritual and human journey. There were regrets and lingering physical scars and emotional wounds.  And there was tenderness, something that was understood deep down to somehow be the whole point.

There was the understanding, in the brief moments of outer calm, that I had given up many things on this journey — but not this. I wouldn’t have been able to endure without this tenderness of spirit.

I wouldn’t have been able to be present in a world of challenges without having broken apart and come back together. I wouldn’t have been able to look at overwhelming challenges and destruction without knowing what is possible. I had been to the edge of destruction in my own way and had, against all odds, transformed — not with my own limited human self alone, but in cooperation with something much bigger that I didn’t quite understand.

At a certain point, it became clear that standing on the edge of destruction was only one way this thing could go. It was possible to be moved also by respect and compassion for having made it so far and the passion to prevent future suffering wherever I could. It was possible to nurture and allow the smallest spark of pure love to ignite.