Whatever Remained

One day I realized the peace I felt had come out of the quiet moments, the insights that came that couldn’t be shared or explained. It had come out of whatever remained of the grief of being within a separate self and the grace of having found my way back to my whole heart.

It was the non-verbal kind of feeling my way through life that had saved me. It was the wisdom beyond stories and questions and answers I found in the silent spaces within that nothing else could reach.

It came out of the willingness to wait forever for words to form and outer forms to match the love I knew in my heart.

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In Unlikely Places

It was sobering to find tenderness in unlikely places — to be willing to listen to life — tossing up thoughts and stories gathered and held so carefully in exchange for a new kind of emptiness and the courage to regather pieces of my heart again and again — each time a little more sweetly.

It was a relief not to need to fit the many pieces of my heart together all at once.

Beyond

There was a settling

down into my heart

that continued to deepen.

I began to understand

beyond thinking

and listen beyond words.

I learned to hold

my own shadows

and light —

letting go of ideas

held too tightly

in exchange for

the lightness

of compassion for

myself and others

and the renewed strength

to continue on

as a clearer reflection

of my own quiet

prayer.

Unspoken

It was always

tender

to reach the point

where words couldn’t

go —

where my own

questions, directed

outward, became added

noise.

And I knew it was

up to me

to interpret the

unspoken

wisdom of my heart

once more —

as best I could —

without knowing

exactly how.

Sacred

At a certain point,

I looked back

and realized

it had been

a sacred journey

into my heart

all along.

It had seemed

painfully subtle

at times.

But it was always

sacred.

In My Heart

Words began

to flow out

from within.

But it was

the surrender

in each moment

and connection

with my own

inner healer

that helped me

to become

the continuous

quiet prayer

I had heard

so clearly

in my heart.

Within My Heart

At a certain point,

turning back

wasn’t really an

option.

Continuing to

push and try

to force any pieces

to fit at all

began to look

a little silly.

And so I vowed

to allow

myself to blend

a little more

completely

with the quiet prayer

I held within

my heart.