Laurie's Notes

There were times

when I searched

outside of me,

waiting for the noise

to soften —

only to find myself

again and again

in the perfect position

to deeply feel

and to honor this life —

to be the peace

that I had always been.

I found quiet joy

within the surrender

to my own being —

in the natural movement

into my deepest heart,

not at the end of the journey,

but in each step —

wherever I happened to be —

no matter how noisy

or silent

the world became.

I began to see this life

and this world

as a series of sacred moments —

flavored with beauty

and pain

and always covered

with the gentleness

of a deeper me.

One day, I found

I had held on 

to all that was sacred

and let go

of the rest of the story,

as if sifting for gold —

brushing myself free

of all that had clouded

the natural beauty,

revealing what had been

all along,

carefully hidden —

underneath.

And though the sacred journey

I now remembered

still included painful moments,

each one was held

with the tenderness

of a crystal clear love

that had endured.

In a moment,

from a series of painful struggles,

seemingly endless obstacles,

and the sweetest surrender,

I let go of a past me

that longed to be

seen through,

sifted out of the smoke —

not fixed,

but loved and honored

and set free.

And so I settled in

a little more

to this very life

I once tried to escape

or alter in some way.

I settled back in

as a subtle prayer —

a whisper of a love

too precious to name.

I found my greatest comfort

not in the hope

that this life would manifest

in the way I wished,

but within the surrender

to the unfolding

of another story —

the subtle, natural beauty —

the wholeness

of which I was a part.