Following a Prayer

There was a willingness to show up in each new moment — letting go a little more of the continuous narration of mind — a deeper surrender into the silent space of What Now?  It took a bit of adjusting to the inner quiet — a retuning to more subtle thoughts and experiences.

What Now wasn’t bound to old storylines. It was a place of possibilities and seeing from a higher view — where I was free to listen to and follow a quiet prayer instead.

 

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In the Silent Space

The more I listened to life, the more I noticed the part of me that could hold and let go of any experience. There was a softening each time I stood a little more firmly in my heart and dared to linger in the silent space.

Words formed out of this place soothed and echoed in places that had seemed unhealable.  And there was tenderness where there had been only pain.

Softening

There was a

softening

of the story

on the surface,

a gentle resetting.

The default emotion

become one of

peace,

the very thing

my heart had

longed for

and called me to.

There was a more

natural connection

with all of life,

a gentle unfolding

of the quiet prayer

within my heart.

Silent pauses became

welcome parts

of the relaxation into

a gentler way

of being.

Out of Nothingness

I return to the purity

of this place,

this strange stillness

where thoughts form

out of nothingness

in answer to questions

yet to be asked,

in response to

longings not yet felt —

where all roads lead

right back

here.

Without Doubt

For a dear friend who asked me what I learned after a long recovery from anorexia

and for all of us —

 

I found that,

without a doubt,

who I am

is more than

this human body

and mind.

I know this,

not because I studied

with enlightened beings,

even though I did.

I know this because

I lived it.

That is the power

and tender treasure

in this human journey,

especially those

that involve

deep healing.

I found this human

being to be a part

of me

with many parts

of its own,

some that are beautiful

and easy to love

and some that are

more difficult.

I found my greatest

healing in holding,

honoring and letting go.

I found this was a natural

process.

I found the core

of who I am

is Love.

I found this Love

naturally reveals

just enough information

in each moment.

I found my symptoms

and outer triggers

to be, in fact,

pieces of information

along this sacred journey.

I came to see

this life

wasn’t just about

healing symptoms

and reaching goals.

It was about the journey

itself.

And I began to remember

just how sacred

life is.

I began to see

myself as connected

to all of it.

I found I was

connected in each moment

to a higher self

and to the whole.

There was no need

to search outside

of me

for that connection.

There was no need

to try so hard

to manifest much.

Whispers of

pure spirit,

nature,

and the connection

found in a handful

of deep friendships

were more satisfying

than anything else.

I found joy

in being in a creative,

sacred space

with others

and my Self —

that silent space

of Love.

This is interesting to note. This is the spiritual root of anorexia according to Louise Hay. The very first healer I met gave me her book.

ANOREXIA: Denying the self and life. Extreme fear of rejection.
Affirmation: It is safe for me. I am wonderful just as I am. I choose joy and self-acceptance.

http://keeperofbalance.blogspot.com/2015/05/louise-hay-list-of-illnesses.html

Voice of My Soul

I return to silence,

to truth.

And out of THIS silence

comes a new voice,

the voice of my soul

and the courage to speak

from THIS place —

no longer held captive

by the thoughts

that are not quite me.

Let them be

there.

Let it all

be there.

I will be

in a different place —

in reverence

of what is true.

Beautiful

There was something

beautiful

in allowing life

to fall

quiet for a moment —

allowing the surface

to not be

as my mind

would have it.

I understood

most deeply,

in the quiet times,

the value in following

my heart —

even if it whispered

subtly,

without words —

even if it was

my only connection

on earth —

even if it led

to just one meaningful

thought.

Silent Reverence

I began to have

a different relationship

with my experiences.

They had become

precious pieces

within a deeper flow,

a way to listen

to life

that led most gently

back to the silent

reverence

within my own

untamed heart.