At a certain point,
I remembered
I didn’t show up here
to fit in
or to become
stuck.
I showed up here
to live
and share,
but mostly
to live.
I hadn’t come
to support old patterns,
but to inspire change
and nurture
new ways.
Category: Reflections
Here
There was risk
in taking this path,
in following
an inner guidance
system
only I could sense,
a risk of becoming
lost, I suppose.
But I had tried
other ways,
and they always
seemed to end up
back here,
in the empty space
left behind
after tossing
every last thought.
There was no explaining
here,
only the willingness
to follow
whatever tiny clue
came back
down.
To Be Whole
One by one,
pieces of a heart
that could no longer
bear the pain
of denying
its own
shattering
began to show up,
to be vulnerable —
to not know
how the story
would unfold —
risking everything
to find a way
to be whole
again.
Within My Heart
There was
a reorganization
within my heart,
a natural turning around
and sorting out
of parts
of the whole —
a gentler,
more effective process
began.
Old ways
were replaced
by a reverent,
creative process
that was unique
to my own heart
space.
One Last Hope
A large part
of my own healing
came out of
symptoms that refused
to subside
until I began
to reach
from some place
deep within.
The hunger
for truth began
to outweigh any desire
to turn back
or take an easier
path.
In fact,
it was that one
last hope,
the risky move
to go straight
to the core
without knowing
how or if
I would find
my way back
that saved me.
Through
I learned to move
in the world
and in my inner
heart
in a way
that couldn’t be
taught.
I learned to feel
my way through.
Into Wholeness
I found
hidden clues
about myself
and how to proceed
in the symptoms
and those annoying
situations I found
myself in —
the ones I had
interpreted
as simply something
to avoid
at all cost.
I found that by
opening to my own
hidden insights,
I was able to move
more fully
into wholeness.
Sacred Journey
Healing my own heart
was a delicate process
of looking within
and gently holding
all of the parts
of my whole self
with the purest
love —
with the help of
my own inner healer
and each tiny piece
that courageously
showed up
to offer its own
unique set of
skills gathered
though an often painful,
incredibly sacred
human soul journey.
My Greatest Hope
It wasn’t about
trying so hard
to create,
really.
Healing my own
shattered heart
was an art,
not a formula.
It took the strength
of each piece
risking to trust
when it would have
made more sense
to turn away.
It took the strength
to reach
and to hold
with open hands —
without grasping
or needing to avoid
being left
alone
in my reaching
while praying
to God that
wouldn’t happen.
It was a risk
that at a certain point
had become
my greatest hope.
For an Instant
There was a kind
of strength
that came out
of my deepest pain
and mixed with the
tenderness
shattered pieces of
my own heart had
worked so hard
to push down —
because they sensed
the amount of truth
they would cry out
was too much
for any one piece
to hold —
but they were never
seperate, really.
This strength found
a way
to reach up
just once more
when it had been
pushed down
too many times
to count.
This strength stood
and looked
at all that was
painful and terrible —
straight in the face.
And it vowed
to feel its own part
in it.
It agreed to keep reaching
because it had felt
the reaching back
of a hand
holding that same fear
that shook
in its own —
if only for
an instant.
Laurie's Notes 