All posts tagged: anorexia

The Release

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The next part was easy — at a certain point. Holding all of the pieces of my heart, there was just one more step, the release. I stopped trying so hard to fit the pieces together as a separate little me. And I reached for something higher. It was the sweetest kind of surrender. Advertisements

How Could I Not?

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Maybe it was seeing the stories on the surface become unbearable that made jumping into the unknown seem less scary for a moment. Perhaps it was having been touched so deeply by the sharing of others or the desire to play a part in the shattering of old patterns of suffering. Perhaps it was a combination of these things that caused my heart to make a gesture to future generations through healing and softening my […]

What Now

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What Now was a gentle way of continuing on. It meant being okay with where I was on the human journey. It meant being okay with where others were as well. It meant letting go of the need for outer stories to go a certain way, while still being present and offering my part I found What Now to be a good place to focus in each moment. It was a saving grace to learn to keep my […]

All That Was Unhealed

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Healing deeply was a little different than I had first expected it to be. I had to learn to hold and let go of all the pieces of my heart. I learned to reach for my own inner healer — listening  beyond stories and thought — holding space for all that was unhealed in me — respecting the tenderness, authentic beauty, compassion and peace I found there that couldn’t have been taught. I began to […]

The Quiet Prayer That Carried Me

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There were times when the stories around me were complex. I knew the only hope was a miracle — often more than one. And so I vowed to clear my own mind and heart and become one with the quiet prayer that had carried me that far. I vowed to hold the remaining bits of trauma in my heart — knowing they would be transforned into healing words. And I held each new moment as […]

A Quiet Kind of Beauty

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There was a quiet kind of beauty in allowing my heart to be in pieces. It wasn’t the mending, so much, that allowed my experience in the world began to soften. It was the gentle shift from being the pieces to being the whole Self. It was too much at first to step out of the pieces. And so I practiced holding and letting go until the tenderness of tapping into my own true essence […]

In Unlikely Places

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It was sobering to find tenderness in unlikely places — to be willing to listen to life — tossing up thoughts and stories gathered and held so carefully in exchange for a new kind of emptiness and the courage to regather pieces of my heart again and again — each time a little more sweetly. It was a relief not to need to fit the many pieces of my heart together all at once. Advertisements

A Path I Couldn’t See

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Prayer Cards / Reflections

There were times when the most loving thing I could do was to let go of all the pieces I had been trying to fit together. I learned to toss it all and trust the right pieces to come back down in each moment. I learned to trust the part of me that could hold and let go of all of my experiencs. I liked the tenderness of subtle insights and the feeling of connection […]

In the Silent Space

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The more I listened to life, the more I noticed the part of me that could hold and let go of any experience. There was a softening each time I stood a little more firmly in my heart and dared to linger in the silent space. Words formed out of this place soothed and echoed in places that had seemed unhealable.  And there was tenderness where there had been only pain. Advertisements

In a Time of Uncertainty

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There was peace within the complete surrender to my own offering in a time of uncertainty. It was understood that there were no guarantees of particular outcomes, but I had found those to be precisely the times when the purest love shines most brightly. What mattered most was my resolve to show up and offer the highest thought I could in each experience. Every single negative experience was met with the intention to allow it […]