Category: Unsorted

Whatever Was Required

Lessons From Anorexia, Unsorted June 30, 2020

There was a time when

the vast contrast between

what I knew to be true

in my heart

and what I observed in the world

around me was too painful to hold,

and I choose

to surrender my heart.

And then there came a time when

the pain of being separated

from my heart

and the very real effect of

a withering soul taken over

by darkness

gave rise to something surprising —

a renewed spirit that had no need

for any kind of attachment

to deception —

a whole spirit unafraid to face,

hold or let go of whatever appeared —

whatever was required.

The Challenge to Stand

Unsorted June 6, 2020

The journey to wholeness

meant accepting the challenge

to stand

alone with God at times,

the only safe place being

the silent space within

a heart disconnected

from its very source

and in process of repair.

It meant pushing on

and digging deeper,

no matter how crazy the challenges

became.

It took every last bit

of energy to choose

to align with love

again and again —

letting go of attachments

to the dark

where there had been trauma.

It meant the rising up

and coming together

of healed parts

no longer needing to fight

against or prove dominance over

each other.

It meant reaching in

and following the parts

what were most whole —

holding space for all that remained

unhealed.

The Process of Awakening

Unsorted April 15, 2020

I found it was possible

to navigate through

the process of awakening into

our own true being.

I understood the courage to face fear

and pain

this required,

while at the same time

navigating through extreme challenges

in the physical world.

It wasn’t easy,

but it was possible.

It was possible to hold my ground

and find a way through.

It was possible to observe and understand

what was indeed happening

in darkness,

to resolve to hold a place of light,

to stand up or speak out when necessary,

and to offer love and forgiveness

where it seemed impossible to do so.

The necessary steps seemed

unclear at times —

only to become clearer

as they appeared.

It required trust, creativity

and the courage to try one more

one more time.

Where There Is No Path

Continuing On, Unsorted November 16, 2019

I found there were many 

forks in the road,

many places to choose

to walk where there is

no path,

where pain is held, honored

and transformed again and again —

each time leaving a little more space

for the one thing strong enough

to balance the traces of pain inevitably

left over from often difficult journeys,

the one thing strong enough to hold all

of the pieces

of an authentic life —

the space within our hearts.

Where There Was Tenderness

Tenderness, Unsorted September 27, 2019

I found reprieve in

the remembrance of the quiet peace

ever present within my deepest heart.

I found a willingness to listen

a little deeper —

to observe a little longer —

to be carried and

set back down gently

in the present moment

where there was tenderness.

After a while, it was difficult

to see how I could have moved

through life in any other way.

Ever So Slightly

From A Quiet Prayer, Unsorted September 19, 2019

Somehow I had dared

to listen to the quiet prayer

in my heart.

I had tried and exhausted

every other option

in my search for peace.

Truthfully, there was really

no better option.

It was shocking at first to,

in a sense, start over again

in my search.

But I began to sense a natural

peace within me and allow

this peace to expand — ever so slightly.

It was a sensing from within,

a quiet prayer from a deeper me.

It didn’t matter so much if things appeared

peaceful on the surface.

It didn’t depend on my body

or mind being still.

What mattered was my

willingness to show up just

as I was and to be with whatever

met me there.