Category: Unsorted

A Gentle Surrender

Unsorted September 4, 2019

There was a gentle

surrender into the quiet prayer

that had carried me so far.

It hadn’t always been graceful

on the surface

There continued to be moments

when the very best I could do

was to just keep going.

But there was a deepening sense

of grace and respect for

the journey.

And there was this continuous,

subtle, often wordless quiet prayer

through it all.

This New Echo

Unsorted August 31, 2019

Somehow, a little beyond

what I had thought possible —

subtler than expected,

experiences in my own self

and in the world

began to soften.

Words flowed from a different

place and echoed long after

the brief moments I felt pulled

to write or remember.

It was a familiar kind of echo,

the kind of echo I had felt

from the difficult path that had

brought me to this point.

But this new echo,

this unending quiet prayer,

soothed and softened

places in my heart that had once

seemed unhealable

and carried me softly

toward a gentler path.

Just Enough

Quieting, Unsorted March 15, 2019

I found journies of the heart

can be difficult.

It was easy to become

discouraged and a little more

difficult to feel my way forward

and through leftover debris from

early challenges

and to become willing to stand

alone with God.

Each time I felt I couldn’t take

another step,

life somehow showed

just enough tenderness

to inspire one more.

Something Beautiful

Tenderness, Unsorted December 2, 2018

There was a longing for some missed step along the way, some kind of orientation to life or honoring of the intensity of the spiritual journey that didn’t happen soon enough. And so finding my way back to where I could sense a loving higher self had been a long, tedious journey.

The process of gathering up fractured parts of self came with its own kind of heartache. Somehow, thankfully, it also came with added tenderness. That’s what kept me in the game. It was the awe at how I kept finding just the right piece just before I really needed it and the resolve to stick with myself no matter what.  It was the determination  to learn to trust life and to turn what looked like a complete mess into something beautiful — again and again.

Unfilled

Lessons From Anorexia, Unsorted November 28, 2018

All things were returned to their rightful place. Parts of self matured naturally with the unconditional presence held by those who had endured brokenness and the intimate process of putting the pieces back — having taken care to leave a tender space unfilled where it would have been easier to attempt to fill it up. What was once desperate attempts at survival became wisdom and loving self-restraint.