Thank you
for all things
reflecting the sweetness
of the connection
with my own deepest
heart.
Thank you also
for all things
along this path
that have challenged me,
adding to the
tenderness of the journey
and lighting
a fire of courage
to become a little more
free.
Thank you
for courage to set
these things
down.
Amen
I vowed to stand
within my heart
in all of my
experiences.
In that moment,
I learned
the value in
the willingness
to allow myself
to feel my true
essence
and to be led
gently from there.
I found my deepest
peace
in turning
down the volume
around me
and within
just enough
so that I could
feel
my own quiet
prayer.
And so I always
returned to
this.
I held a me
that didn’t need
to try to be
a certain way.
And though it felt
like a risky move,
I held on
just a little longer
and trusted
just a little more
deeply.
And I saw that I was
that me.
I was that
Love.
I held on
to a tiny whisper
from my heart
and the smallest bit
of silent space.
I had tried
all other ways
and sensed the time
had come to risk
all that was left
and let go of my mind’s
idea of how
this thing should go.
Anyway, that tiny whisper
couldn’t be ignored
much longer.
The way
to a new place
was through
all I didn’t know —
the most tender place,
this place of
in-between.
There was peace
in being
without words —
allowing
all that was
too much
to be —
waiting for
a more subtle message
to form —
wating for our hearts
to speak.
I kept searching
until I found
something that could
stop me
in my tracks.
I had let go
of many things.
I had tried so hard
for so long
to sort out
thoughts and all those
wounded places.
I had struggled
and given up.
I had been turned away
and breathed back.
But in that moment,
it was really much
simpler and
more tender
than that.
I found I was
the quiet prayer
in all of it.
Within the great
unlayering
of my heart
and the holding of
each precious piece,
I found
the most beautiful
treasure —
the gentle,
natural setting down
of all that was
no longer needed —
knowing nothing real
could ever be lost.
I vowed to continue on —
to take each step
in faith,
rooted firmly
in my heart,
unattached to the need
for outer relief —
holding my ground
in all situtions —
not always quiet,
not needing
to be right
or good enough
or even noticed —
simply playing my part
as it unfolded.
And there was
a beautiful silence
within my heart
I wouldn’t ever try
to fill again.
Life continued to unfold
with all of its challenges
and pain
and beauty.
Questions like
Who am I
and the unshakeable
determination to keep
showing up
became more important
than any one insight
or set of
explanations —
pulling me each time
back a little more
into Self —
not deeper down
into thought,
but straight through
all if it
to its core —
where I sensed intuitively
and found great relief
in knowing
this as my center.
Laurie's Notes 