Tag: Reflections

After Everything

Laurie's NotesLeave a comment

The quiet prayer in my heart

continued on

no matter how many times I seemed

to forget to listen.

It was there in the quiet moments

when I dared to gather up all

of the confusion and anxieties

and frustration and ongoing traumas

playing out all around me.

It was there in the aha moments

when I became quiet enough to remember

all I had forgotten to gather up —

all the little bits of hope and the pure

miraculous way they still existed

after everything.

It was there when I remembered

just one small, sweet memory

of the journey —

a time when I seemed to be

completely alone but realized I was not.

In a sea of traumatic memories

and the long list of things lost,

what stood out, if I looked

and listened a little deeper,

was tenderness.

Softening

Laurie's Notes2 Comments

It took a little practice, but I learned to remain in my heart. I learned to honor all that was painful while holding space for tenderness.

I began to sink into my heart a little more each time I remembered I had the option to remain there.  Experiences that seemed unhealable at first glance began to reflect the softening in my own heart.

No Matter What

Laurie's Notes5 Comments

Healing deeply meant finding a way to reach in to parts of Self — where it would have been easier not to. It meant reaching a place where surface responses and insights were no longer an option.

It meant becoming humble enough to reach into the unknown space within my own heart for guidance in each moment with the resolve to find my way and remain there and in a world finding its own heart again — no matter what.

All That Was Unhealed

Laurie's Notes6 Comments

Healing deeply was a little different than I had first expected it to be. I had to learn to hold and let go of all the pieces of my heart.

I learned to reach for my own inner healer — listening  beyond stories and thought — holding space for all that was unhealed in me — respecting the tenderness, authentic beauty, compassion and peace I found there that couldn’t have been taught.

I began to notice all the ways I had tried to reach this place that had actually taken me in the opposite direction. Instead of trying so hard to work out the stories in my mind, I learned to be in my heart — where unresolved pieces turned into pieces of art and honored wisdom. Whatever was needed began to unfold a little more gracefully from there.

Whatever Remained

Laurie's Notes3 Comments

One day I realized the peace I felt had come out of the quiet moments, the insights that came that couldn’t be shared or explained. It had come out of whatever remained of the grief of being within a separate self and the grace of having found my way back to my whole heart.

It was the non-verbal kind of feeling my way through life that had saved me. It was the wisdom beyond stories and questions and answers I found in the silent spaces within that nothing else could reach.

It came out of the willingness to wait forever for words to form and outer forms to match the love I knew in my heart.

In the Direction of Restoration

Laurie's Notes5 Comments

I learned the value in reclaiming

the sacred space within

and reconnecting with my heart.

There were times

when a power greater than

my own small, separated self

rose up and intuitive knowing

could no longer be ignored.

Each moment became

a conscious choice of

“What now?”

Anything not moving in

the direction of creativity

and restoration

naturally fell away.

With a Hint of Grace

Laurie's Notes5 Comments

There was peace in the delicate way I learned to hold all thoughts and emotions and find my way through challenges — not alone, but with a hint of inner grace and trust I hadn’t known before.

I had gained a respect for the sacred journey back to our hearts. Tender places where old wounds lived reminded me of where I had been and the purity of love able to reach through dark places. The intensity of this love remained and softened the need for such extreme contrast.

A Path I Couldn’t See

Laurie's Notes4 Comments

There were times when the most loving thing I could do was to let go of all the pieces I had been trying to fit together. I learned to toss it all and trust the right pieces to come back down in each moment.

I learned to trust the part of me that could hold and let go of all of my experiencs. I liked the tenderness of subtle insights and the feeling of connection so much that I was willing to risk taking a path I couldn’t see.