Quiet Reflections and Prayers
I began to allow
experiences to happen
without interpreting
too soon,
a gentler way
found after
a long journey,
a way of being
with my mind
and in the world
met with tenderness
and a deepening sense
of peace
as confusion naturally
transformed itself back
into prayer
again and again.
Without a solid sense
of a fragmented self
once held in place
by overthinking
and figuring out,
the pull was to seek out
quiet space
in which to transform
experience back into
prayer —
deeply honoring
all that was left
unresolved on the surface —
gently pointing
back to the space
within my heart
because there was
nothing left
to block the way.
I found life
continued to unfold —
each of us
doing our best
to listen
to our own quiet prayer,
getting lost
and returning
again and again
to silence.
I found it a bit
humorous
after a while —
all the trying
to understand and
interpret.
And so I continued on
as a part of
the mystery —
a little lighter —
participating without ever
leaving the space
within my deepest heart
and just below
the surface.
There was nothing
to compare
with the natural calm
I found
in choosing to let go
of ideas of how
exactly to do it —
vowing to become
healer of my own heart —
whatever that meant
and however long
it took —
grateful to be
in that one
honest,
continuous prayer.
I kept searching
until I found
something that could
stop me
in my tracks.
I had let go
of many things.
I had tried so hard
for so long
to sort out
thoughts and all those
wounded places.
I had struggled
and given up.
I had been turned away
and breathed back.
But in that moment,
it was really much
simpler and
more tender
than that.
I found I was
the quiet prayer
in all of it.
Let the love
that is
who we are
at our deepest core
shine a little brighter.
Let there be
a beautiful space
in our hearts.
Let there be
peace.
Amen
It didn’t matter
how cold
the world got
because I always
remembered the day
I found
I wasn’t here
all alone —
when without a sound
I began to sense
a love that
could never
not be.
Life became
more of a natural,
organic process.
Figuring every step
and knowing
exactly how
to do it
was replaced with
quiet joy picked up
somewhere
in the exploration,
the delicate
innate ability to
trade in confusion
for a search for
tenderness
and the magic
of unexpected treasures
found along the way.
There’s a tender
kind of humility
that comes out of
finding one’s own
deepest beating heart
and vowing to heal it
at that very core —
no matter what happens
on the surface —
because it is seen
that to make any kind
of lasting difference
it simply must
be done.
Words like should
and never no longer
apply.
In fact, all words
fail to express
the view
on the way back
up.
Having been led
by this quiet prayer,
there was an even
deeper quieting
as I began to see
more clearly
from this place.
The change was so
beautiful and subtle
as everything that no longer
resonated
simply dissolved
into quiet awe —
a million words and none —
all at once.
Laurie's Notes 