Tag: poetry

Reprieve

Tenderness March 14, 2019

I found instant reprieve

in the exact moment

I returned my focus

to the space within my heart.

I learned it was enough

to focus on what was appearing

right in front of me,

allowing all that was past

to be released.

I learned to sense where

life was supporting me to be

in each moment

with a little more grace

and trust.

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Turning Back

Within the Mystery March 14, 2019

The was a gentle turning back

and dropping more deeply

into the space within my heart.

It was a concious surrender

to life itself

in each moment

as I learned to allow life

to flow more freely,

lost my footing,

and found my way back

again and again.

Only This

Tenderness March 13, 2019

Each time I seemed

to fall back down

into fear,

I wondered how I would ever

find the strength to rise again.

There were times

of integration when I would

somehow lose my footing

and in a little bit of panic

seem to lose my way

and cry out,

which never went particularly well —

to put it mildly.

There was, in these times,

a quiet, wordless  prayer

inside my heart.

Often it was the only thing

left to hold on to.

No matter how great the

contrast between what I felt

in my heart

and what appeared in front of me

and in my cluttered mind,

I continued on —

declaring once more,

perhaps with more conviction,

If the only reprieve to be found

is in my heart space

with this one continuous

quiet prayer,

then I will hold

only this.

Forever

Tenderness March 5, 2019

Life began to soften

ever so slightly.

It was risky to hold

the love I had found

in my heart.

There were body memories

of the times when the contrast

between my heart and the world

had been too much to hold —

or so I thought.

Little by little I had somehow

learned how to hold whatever

needed holding —

for however long it needed

to be held —

even if it was forever.

Something Beautiful

Tenderness March 4, 2019

Sometimes words and tears

didn’t come.

Sometimes standing

in the empty space where words

and tears should have been

was the exact right place.

It’s where I found the most

shattered parts of my heart,

dusted them off

with my very last bit

of strength,

and promised to somehow

fit the pieces together and make

something beautiful of the mess —

again.

Of course each time I

realized the impact

of the imperfect journey

and willingness to show up

in that very moment —

breaking through my fear

of getting it wrong,

shattering my heart a little more

and directing me back again

to tenderness.

A Love Nothing Could Touch

Tenderness February 22, 2019

It was a little risky to dare to understand tenderness. It meant first knowing the opposite. It meant knowing bitter coldness and disconnect, the only way out being back through painful layers of healing as each healed layer began to let in a little more light of hope and courage to continue on. Aiming to get to a future place or remaining stuck in past stories became courage to drop more deeply into the present. It was an extreme path — the result being the capacity to hold and love the most traumatized parts of the human experience. There was accumulated trauma from painful attempts to heal the original trauma, and there was a love and compassion nothing could ever touch or take away.

The Quiet Space Within

Tenderness January 29, 2019

Writing became a meditation,

an easily accessible way

to connect with a truer sense

of self —

in any moment.

My notes became precious tickets

back to parts of self

and back into the world.

Even after I reached a point

where I could safely let go,

translating lived experience

into words continued to be

a ticket into the quiet space within

I wouldn’t have traded

for an easier path.