Tag: anorexia recovery

A Quiet Prayer

Quieting, Unsorted November 20, 2018

For a time, everything reflected back a sense of disconnection, but there was a faded memory of a deeper truth just beneath the surface — a quiet prayer that, when held just lightly enough, began the gentle task of transformation. Life was returned to the sacred prayer it was meant to be. All things were held safely within this transformation into tenderness.

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Enough

Reflections April 3, 2018

One day I got it that life isn’t supposed to get completely sorted out. I understood there is always a place of unsettledness. Who’s to say what and how much to sort through and surrender and how much to leave alone in the transformative state of raw tenderness?

I couldn’t help but look back on all the time and energy spent trying find someone or something to help me out of the mess in my head. I thought of all the countless dramas I had acted out in my life in hope of a solution to this unresolved trauma — my piece of the collective suffering.

Then I got it that at any point I could have seen that I was okay with where I was (because of course I was more okay than I knew). I could have identified with the healer in me, the totality of all of the parts of me that had struggled to find relief — not knowing they didn’t need to go it alone.

And so in that moment, I vowed to not waste one more bit of energy doing things that only tired me out, including all useless kinds of thinking. I vowed to keep my heart open to the quiet prayer within.

Sometimes enough is enough.