Tag: Higher self

From a State of Prayer

Reflections March 2, 2018

There was pain in returning to wholeness. It was painful to reach back to parts of myself stuck in the past. And it was painful to begin to feel the pain of others as my own pain.

But there was no turning back. There was a tenderness in tapping into truth that I was unwilling to let go of again. And so I continued to meet each unfolding moment from a state of prayer — trusting in life to meet me. It felt like a huge risk, but  I had been in that place before.

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Whatever Remained

Reflections February 3, 2018

One day I realized the peace I felt had come out of the quiet moments, the insights that came that couldn’t be shared or explained. It had come out of whatever remained of the grief of being within a separate self and the grace of having found my way back to my whole heart.

It was the non-verbal kind of feeling my way through life that had saved me. It was the wisdom beyond stories and questions and answers I found in the silent spaces within that nothing else could reach.

It came out of the willingness to wait forever for words to form and outer forms to match the love I knew in my heart.

The Quiet Prayer That Carried Me

Reflections February 2, 2018

There were times when the stories around me were complex. I knew the only hope was a miracle — often more than one. And so I vowed to clear my own mind and heart and become one with the quiet prayer that had carried me that far.

I vowed to hold the remaining bits of trauma in my heart — knowing they would be transforned into healing words. And I held each new moment as it unfolded.

Words pointed back to miracles past, comforting pieces of my heart and connecting me in each moment to a timeless, unshakeable higher me. But my prayer had no words.

A Path I Couldn’t See

Reflections December 30, 2017

There were times when the most loving thing I could do was to let go of all the pieces I had been trying to fit together. I learned to toss it all and trust the right pieces to come back down in each moment.

I learned to trust the part of me that could hold and let go of all of my experiencs. I liked the tenderness of subtle insights and the feeling of connection so much that I was willing to risk taking a path I couldn’t see.

Beyond

Softening November 3, 2017

There was a settling

down into my heart

that continued to deepen.

I began to understand

beyond thinking

and listen beyond words.

I learned to hold

my own shadows

and light —

letting go of ideas

held too tightly

in exchange for

the lightness

of compassion for

myself and others

and the renewed strength

to continue on

as a clearer reflection

of my own quiet

prayer.