Quiet Reflections and Prayers
I found comfort
in the small moments of surrender
when I dared to let go
of everything
and stand in the empty space.
There was tenderness
in the gentle way life began
to flow from there.
And so I returned again
to this place –
trading it all for a quiet prayer
and the chance to follow
to where my heart was tuned.
Life had a way of leading
back to the quiet space within –
to the setting down of all
of the tangled up,
unresolved thoughts –
to the difficult step of tossing everything
up to God.
Time and time again I found myself
in a place of too much –
the only clear option being
to return again humbly
to a state of prayer –
to begin again
from there.
And so every experience,
no matter how painful or beautiful,
eventually led back to my heart.
It didn’t matter how long
I put off the inevitable prayer
of surrender.
Every single time I found my way
to that quiet prayer
and the immediate respite in
the instant recentering.
It didn’t matter that much of life
remained messy and parts
of the unfolding story would
most likely bring with them
a tenderness almost too raw to bear.
All of it eventually ended up
in this place.
There came a time
when I had traveled too far
and learned too much.
And so the only thing to do,
having reached the end of the path,
was to stand still right there in my heart,
in the middle of the chaos,
let go of everything
and hope for the best.
I learned to find my way
back to the quiet space
within.
I learned to be okay
with a prayer
and a tiny spark of hope.
And I remembered
to never again let go
of my heart.
Words became a gentle
path back into the willingness
to feel and to be a little more
present.
After a while, they began
to echo the silence of
my deepest heart —
winding their way through
old wounds —
soothing whatever appeared
along the way.
It took a little practice
learning how to soothe
all that was within.
It took a huge dose
of gentleness
to become willing to stop
and allow my heart to be
the safe place I had been
trying to find for so long.
After a little while,
I caught on that this
human experience was in fact
a sacred journey.
And so I began to take notes —
connecting the person
to a more expanded,
formless self —
comforting and guiding —
lighting my path
as it unfolded —
navigating through contrast —
following what felt most true —
listening and feeling my way
into my deepest heart.
And so the decision was made
to continue on
through all that needed attention
and healing
until my experience in the world
more clearly reflected
the peace I held
in my deepest heart.
It was an unshakable
determination to hold my ground
no matter what.
Hold us a little tighter when we can’t find our way — as we can’t see the whole picture, and it’s easy to be frightened of the in-between times from here. Help us to honor all that has felt dishonored in our own hearts — that we might honor all things more deeply. Amen
–Laurie, What Now
Laurie's Notes 