Tag: eating disorder

For an Instant

Reflections January 31, 2017

There was a kind

of strength

that came out

of my deepest pain

and mixed with the

tenderness

shattered pieces of

my own heart had

worked so hard

to push down —

because they sensed

the amount of truth

they would cry out

was too much

for any one piece

to hold —

but they were never

seperate, really.

This strength found

a way

to reach up

just once more

when it had been

pushed down

too many times

to count.

This strength stood

and looked

at all that was

painful and terrible —

straight in the face.

And it vowed

to feel its own part

in it.

It agreed to keep reaching

because it had felt

the reaching back

of a hand

holding that same fear

that shook

in its own —

if only for

an instant.

Advertisements

In Exchange for Beauty

Continuing On January 31, 2017

My deepest posture

became one

of reverence.

I found my deepest

self could endure

much shaking

on the surface.

It could honor all

parts of the whole,

without clinging

to a set of ideas

I had thought

myself to be

for a while.

It was no longer

about winning.

It was about

finding a way through

a natural process,

where I had the

chance to participate

in my own evolution —

reaching for a hand —

encouraging others

through my willingness

to face

my own hidden pain

that was entangled

with theirs —

setting down

a false

sense of self

and bits of pride

in exchange for

natural beauty

and connection.

It was the hardest

and most simple thing.

Hope

Quieting January 26, 2017

At a certain point,

the only real option

was going to

the source —

risking it all

to find something

worth holding.

It meant looking

within

and finding

that one thing

I could say

was sacred,

that one thing

worth holding

if everything else

I thought I had

understood

turned out to be

untrue.

I had to know

if there was

hope for any of us.

I had to know if

there was something

to be found

in us

that was capable

of holding

anything pure

without messing it up.

And it turned out

there was.