healing – Page 12 – Laurie's Notes

Whatever Remained

February 3, 2018February 3, 2018 Laurie's Notes

One day I realized the peace I felt had come out of the quiet moments, the insights that came that couldn’t be shared or explained. It had come out of whatever remained of the grief of being within a separate self and the grace of having found my way back to my whole heart.

It was the non-verbal kind of feeling my way through life that had saved me. It was the wisdom beyond stories and questions and answers I found in the silent spaces within that nothing else could reach.

It came out of the willingness to wait forever for words to form and outer forms to match the love I knew in my heart.

Reflections

The Quiet Prayer That Carried Me

February 2, 2018March 4, 2018 Laurie's Notes

There were times when the stories around me were complex. I knew the only hope was a miracle — often more than one. And so I vowed to clear my own mind and heart and become one with the quiet prayer that had carried me that far.

I vowed to hold the remaining bits of trauma in my heart — knowing they would be transforned into healing words. And I held each new moment as it unfolded.

Words pointed back to miracles past, comforting pieces of my heart and connecting me in each moment to a timeless, unshakeable higher me. But my prayer had no words.

Reflections

A Quiet Kind of Beauty

February 1, 2018November 6, 2022 Laurie's Notes

There was a quiet kind of beauty in allowing my heart to be in pieces. It wasn’t the mending, so much, that allowed my experience in the world to begin to soften. It was the gentle shift from being the pieces to being the whole Self.

It was too much at first to step out of the pieces. And so I practiced holding and letting go until the tenderness of tapping into my own true essence far outweighed anything else. There was a sweetness in noticing that it did in fact matter what I was experiencing on the inside.

Reflections

In Unlikely Places

January 24, 2018February 1, 2018 Laurie's Notes

It was sobering to find tenderness in unlikely places — to be willing to listen to life — tossing up thoughts and stories gathered and held so carefully in exchange for a new kind of emptiness and the courage to regather pieces of my heart again and again — each time a little more sweetly.

It was a relief not to need to fit the many pieces of my heart together all at once.

Quieting

A Place of Reprieve

January 23, 2018January 24, 2018 Laurie's Notes

There were times

when the most pressing work

to be done

was to retrace my steps,

to return to

a place of reprieve —

to soothe

my own heart

a little more.

Tenderness

All That Was Tender

January 21, 2018February 3, 2018 Laurie's Notes

After a while I learned to be in my heart and in the world. I learned to extract all that was beautiful and all that was tender from each experience. I learned to stand with the part of me that was most healed and let go — holding the door of my heart for all that was not quite beautiful — daring to continue on with love.

Prayers

With Love

January 13, 2018January 13, 2018 Laurie's Notes

Thank you for courage

to follow where my heart

would lead

and for resolve

to stand firmly

through challenges within

the creative flow

when it would be easier

to take a different path.

Bless all who dare

to continue to create

with love

and those who have not

yet begun.

Amen

Softening

A Place of Surrender

January 13, 2018March 4, 2018 Laurie's Notes

What Now became

a way of being.

It took a bit of practice

to allow my mind

to relax into a place

of surrender to the prayer

within my heart

and to integrate parts of me

I had previously struggled

against.

But it was there hidden within

this place

that I found true healing

and peace.

Continuing On

From Here

January 12, 2018January 12, 2018 Laurie's Notes

And so the decision was made

to continue on.

There was no room

in that moment

for regret or any other

cluttering thought.

There was silent understanding

in each open heart

that the time had come

to listen a little more deeply

and speak a little more

intently from here.

Quieting

Without Words

January 12, 2018 Laurie's Notes

After a while,

I learned to listen

to the quiet prayer within.

It began as a whisper

without words,

but its presence was enough

to light my path

when I felt most challenged.

It reminded me of

the all that was miraculous

and led to a place

of compassion for myself

and others here at this time

as souls in human form.