Softening became
a choice
in each moment
as I learned
to trust my own heart
a little more
completely.
Experiences began to
match the gentleness
of my own quiet
prayers.
Tag: anorexia recovery
From My Heart
With a little practice,
I found gentler ways
of allowing
myself to be guided
from my heart.
Things that had seemed
overwhelming before
became mysteries
to unravel.
I began to get
a feel for this
gentler way
as little by little,
a bit slower at first,
I began to
notice and act
on clear insights
that led me
to one needed piece
and the next.
In Trust
I couldn’t see
how all those
pieces could ever
come together.
But I had decided
it was worth the risk
to continue on —
in trust.
And so I tossed
all that I thought
I knew
and opened my arms
to catch
whatever truth,
whatever pieces
came back down —
knowing there was
room for my own
reaching —
knowing I didn’t
reach alone.
Entangled
I honor
all parts and pieces
of a heart
that showed itself
to be strong
and vulnerable,
suffering
and whole —
all at once.
I honor them all
because they refused
to sink quietly
into the back corners
of a heart that was
rightly their own.
I honor them because
the journey
was too much
for any one part
alone —
because turning back
or becoming stuck
would have been
easier.
Still they continued on
through the unknown —
refusing to give up
hope
that their seemingly small
bodies and actions
could reach
and lead each other
to the truth —
however entangled
it had become.
At the Root
I began to let go
of old ideas
of how the story
should go —
showing up
more and more
in resonance
with my own heart,
no longer waiting
for outer reflections
to change —
looking instead
to the subtle,
lasting effects
of the elixir
found at the root
of my own deepest
pain.
Into My Heart
I found myself within
a beautiful motion
of holding
and letting go,
allowing attention
to land
where it pleased,
sometimes pausing —
always continuing —
unattached to labels
or the need to
connect all of the dots
too soon —
holding and honoring
all that crossed
my path
as this most natural
rhythm began to feel
more and more
like home —
letting go into
my own deepest heart.
In Trust
Looking back,
I held the pieces
of my own deepest healing
all along.
I only had to
step out of
my own way
and allow them to
come together.
I had to step forward
and toss them all
in trust
that wherever
they landed,
it would be okay.
No Other Choice
I found a certain
rhythm within
the changing stories
and happenings —
an aliveness
I was once afraid
to trust —
until there was
no other choice
but to follow
this aliveness,
past the stories —
all the way
to nothing —
to its purest form —
where it was
less empty
than all I had tried
to fill it with.
Each Quiet Prayer
Thank you for each heart
that has answered
the call of Love,
showing up in a world
of great suffering
and great beauty,
being exposed
to all if it —
often intensely.
Thank you for each
quiet prayer
from each human soul
holding a sacred space
because the choice
was made
to look inside
or to reach out
for answers,
to do what was required —
to make this
sacred journey into the heart.
Thank you
for being here.
Amen
A Gentler Way
The time came
to find a gentler way,
to turn back
from the path of mind —
retracing my steps
just a little.
…
At first it felt
a bit lonely,
as there seemed to be
fewer taking this turn.
And I admit I missed
the crowds at times
and the paved roads
and maps.
…
But as I walked this
strangely familiar path
unfolding in front of me,
I began to remember
what it felt like
to walk on the earth,
to be free to notice
and allow my attention
to fall where it liked,
to experience the world
around me
and inside of me
without a constant
narrating mind.
…
And sure enough,
just as I had guessed,
I was okay
in this place —
where everything was
as it had been —
feelings and sensations
and challenges
and thoughts.
But without the narrator,
without the constant story,
they had taken on a
lighter feel,
softened somehow —
along this path
of the heart.
Laurie's Notes 