Quiet Reflections and Prayers
It was neccesary
to find
space for healing
in my own heart.
And so there was
a quieting,
a sinking down —
a leaping past
old triggers and
thoughts
for a moment
so that I could
turn around
and walk through
all that was in need
of healing
from a different direction —
out of silence.
When I feel
the presence
of all that remains
unhealed in me,
remind me
of the sacred honor
and tenderness
found in these places.
Help me to pause.
Center me always
in my heart —
that I may offer
my part
out of the purest love
that we are.
Amen
And so I vowed
to go to the
very center of
my heart,
to do whatever
was required,
not knowing
what I would find
or if I would ever
make my way back,
no longer waiting
for relief
or healing
from outside of me —
reaching only
for the faint whispers
from a place
almost forgotten..
The quieting
continued to deepen.
Outer and inner experiences
were no longer seen
as obstacles,
but as life simply
showing up
as I had witnessed
my own self
showing up
to meet life.
And in this quieting,
there was often
sadness —
as again and again,
I offered up
my whole self
to something other than
what my mind imagined
life to be.
But there was always
great peace.
Because I had grown tired
of all the trying
so hard
to find my way
back to my own heart,
I found peace
in the simplicity
of the surrender
and natural movement
that happened
in reconnecting with
and being
the quiet prayer
that had guided me
ever so gently
back to itself.
Listening happened
in my heart,
in my whole body,
without the need
for the constant noise
of trying so hard
or working it all out.
Experiencing happened
more naturally,
often out of
many different experiences
at once,
and organized itself
into understanding
beyond thought —
within this quiet space.
I found there is
a natural rhythm
of life,
one we lose touch with
when we find ourselves
living in our thoughts
or trying to create
just the right
circumstances
or feeling state —
trying to figure out
or find
something to make
this life
more predictable
so that it all makes
some kind of sense.
But I found the deepest
kind of peace
in returning to this
most natural rhythm
of life.
And so I allow
my words
to find their own way —
that they might
reflect this natural rhythm
and remind us
what it feels like
to be alive and free.
I found a certain joy
in listening
to life —
holding moments
and thoughts
and letting go —
listening without needing
to cling
or becoming stale —
joining the continuous
motion of life —
noticing the quiet stillness
in all if it.
Because of
the most challenging
of circumstances,
I was drawn directly
into the center of
my deepest heart.
From this position,
from this blessing
in disguise,
I was able to
walk through anything.
Looking back,
I wouldn’t have chosen
anything at all
over the peace
I found in that moment —
when there was
no other choice.
And so every thought,
every experience,
every memory began
to soften.
All that I experienced
seemed to be touched
by the purity of love
I had held
within my deepest heart.
And I found it had
always been this way —
love reaching back
for itself.
Laurie's Notes 