Quiet Reflections and Prayers
Underneath
all of the noise,
past the misunderstandings
and old wounds
and even older traumas,
there is pure longing,
not to be fixed,
but to be loved.
And so I take hold
of this place in me.
And if I must
reassure it
in every
moment
forever,
I will.
— Laurie, Healer of My Own Heart
Sometimes it’s nice
to show up
as I am —
to meet others
as they are —
to toss my thoughts
and wait
for them to come
back down
a little more gently —
to hold a space
for just the kind
of love
that doesn’t need
a continuous narration
or specific way
to be.
At times,
the surface life
appeared unsettled.
Often there was
much to sort through.
But if I dared to sink
just a little below,
thoughts began to appear
a little slower —
offering themselves
as quiet prayers
and fading gracefully
back into stillness —
where whatever reappeared
was always just enough.
Writing calms me
like medicine.
It quiets me.
I don’t try to understand
with my mind.
I just let it flow out
and sink in
to my heart.
Sometimes one word
shows up in a piece
and reaches where I couldn’t
reach in other ways.
Maybe it is that
I have to become
so still inside
to listen
with my whole being.
Maybe it is this listening
that calms the little parts
of me so profoundly.
— Laurie, Heart Space
And so the words
written carefully
on my heart
began to reflect
the gentle way
I had taken in
subtle messages
from inner and outer
experiences —
reflecting the soft,
repetitive motion
of holding and letting go,
listening and settling —
the one thing
strong enough
to heal my own heart —
this gentle way —
this most natural movement
of life.
There was less
of a need
to form solid conclusions
and interpret meaning
in each experience.
Instead, there was
a sense of being
part of life,
naturally contributing
my part —
quieting my own heart
a little more with
each unnarrated moment
and carrying on.
It became increasingly helpful
to meet life
from a gentler place.
And so I held
my ground within
my heart —
remembering how
I had so delicately
held and let go
of all that crossed
my path
as I found my way
to this position —
letting go of all
I couldn’t sort out
all at once —
noticing as
pieces came together —
a little at a time —
naturally —
without my
over-thinking
and doing.
And with this same
natural motion,
I continued on.
I found there were
places along the
winding path
of my heart
that remained
unsorted.
It was these unresolved
pieces of my own story
that I came to honor
as doorways
into the mysterious —
the place where words
couldn’t go
and only the purest love
was felt
in their place.
There was a quieting,
a gentle shift
from pure survival
to an aliveness
that flowed out of
the willingness to embrace
carefully hidden emotion
in a way that was
both safe
and strong enough
to hold
the most painful experiences —
transforming them,
through this holding,
into something beautiful.
It was rather sweet —
the way my mind
began to follow
my lead —
listening,
smiling at the silence
instead of filling it —
holding ever so lightly —
one wordless prayer
after another.
Laurie's Notes 