Quiet Reflections and Prayers
It became increasingly helpful
to meet life
from a gentler place.
And so I held
my ground within
my heart —
remembering how
I had so delicately
held and let go
of all that crossed
my path
as I found my way
to this position —
letting go of all
I couldn’t sort out
all at once —
noticing as
pieces came together —
a little at a time —
naturally —
without my
over-thinking
and doing.
And with this same
natural motion,
I continued on.
And so I followed
the words —
each time a little further
back into the silence
I had come to love.
I had acquired the taste
for the gentle transformation
into the subtle knowing,
the quiet prayer
I once tried
to understand
and grasp.
I found both loneliness
and freedom
in the many small choices
not to mold the words
that flowed from my heart
into any particular
form or practice.
And so they remained
as they were written,
as my own heart —
untamed and free.
Because of
the most challenging
of circumstances,
I was drawn directly
into the center of
my deepest heart.
From this position,
from this blessing
in disguise,
I was able to
walk through anything.
Looking back,
I wouldn’t have chosen
anything at all
over the peace
I found in that moment —
when there was
no other choice.
I began to notice
a natural softening
in myself and others
as I aligned to my own
true essence —
a subtle shifting
that bypassed
the need to sort out
every personal flaw
and pattern.
There was a sense
of relief
after having struggled
and identified ourselves
with the parts
that were evolving —
an embracing —
a relaxing into
our own inherent wholeness.
I found peace
in the letting go
of the need
to hold each detail
of my own life
so tightly.
Somehow,
because all attempts
at solving the puzzle
of my own struggles
in the usual ways
completely failed,
I was left
holding the remnants
of a deeper story.
This was the story
I wanted to share
because it belonged
to a deeper me.
I found myself within
a beautiful motion
of holding
and letting go,
allowing attention
to land
where it pleased,
sometimes pausing —
always continuing —
unattached to labels
or the need to
connect all of the dots
too soon —
holding and honoring
all that crossed
my path
as this most natural
rhythm began to feel
more and more
like home —
letting go into
my own deepest heart.
I began to let the words
find their own way
out of my experiences
and out of my heart,
though the empty space
I was left holding,
having tossed everything
back to wherever it came.
I became willing to
stand in that uncomfortable
place of in-between,
letting the pieces
come together
as they always did —
allowing life
to both lead and follow —
showing up empty
of me —
holding sacred space
for all of us.
Looking back,
I held the pieces
of my own deepest healing
all along.
I only had to
step out of
my own way
and allow them to
come together.
I had to step forward
and toss them all
in trust
that wherever
they landed,
it would be okay.
When there is
much to sort through,
when we can’t see
where to start,
let us begin
in surrender
to all that is
most healed
in our own hearts.
And may we find
comfort in knowing,
that somehow,
within this great mystery,
we belong
to each other.
Amen
Laurie's Notes 