Quiet Reflections and Prayers
Living out of
my heart
is a little different
than living out of
the continuous stories
of the mind.
It’s quieter here,
the kind of quiet
that takes a little
readjusting.
But I continue to find
great treasures
as I remember
more and more
of how to navigate again
in this space.
It doesn’t matter
how many challenges
we are faced with.
It doesn’t matter
if I don’t know
how or when
the pain will lift
or what will show up
that will soften
your heart
and mine
I only know
that it will —
because I have been
to the place
of in-between.
And I have walked
straight through.
Underneath
all of the noise,
past the misunderstandings
and old wounds
and even older traumas,
there is pure longing,
not to be fixed,
but to be loved.
And so I take hold
of this place in me.
And if I must
reassure it
in every
moment
forever,
I will.
— Laurie, Healer of My Own Heart
Because of
the most challenging
of circumstances,
I was drawn directly
into the center of
my deepest heart.
From this position,
from this blessing
in disguise,
I was able to
walk through anything.
Looking back,
I wouldn’t have chosen
anything at all
over the peace
I found in that moment —
when there was
no other choice.
I found peace
in the quiet way
I learned to hold
and let go
of all that crossed
my path.
I found it
in the silence
within my heart,
often in the middle
of the most difficult
parts of the journey
where the sound
of my own steps
taken in pure faith
and a knowing smile
from a passer-by
became my greatest hope
and inspired me
to keep walking
straight through.
I began to let the words
find their own way
out of my experiences
and out of my heart,
though the empty space
I was left holding,
having tossed everything
back to wherever it came.
I became willing to
stand in that uncomfortable
place of in-between,
letting the pieces
come together
as they always did —
allowing life
to both lead and follow —
showing up empty
of me —
holding sacred space
for all of us.
Give us strength
to stand firm,
to reach for what is
most true,
to find security
not in the things
we have been shown
to grasp,
but in our deepest core —
returning to our
natural place —
trusting those who have
made the trip before us —
reaching for others’ hands —
reaching ahead and behind,
gathering more strength
so that we may do
what we came to do
and share what we came
to share
as healers of our
own hearts.
Amen
For a while
my words seemed
to not be heard.
They seemed
to lash out
against each other,
for a while,
as the anger tried to find
its place,
as all that wasn’t right
found its way
to the surface.
And so I began to honor
all these fractured pieces
and assure them
that they did indeed belong,
that they were heard
in me.
And I freed them.
I let them go,
set them free —
trusting them to come back
a little less fractured,
in way that could be heard,
in whatever form needed —
to keep speaking
what was true,
perhaps a little
more gently
or more directly
or with just enough
passion and restraint —
until they fell silent —
into the place
where there was
no more distance
between the speaking
and the listening.
And so I vow
to live
in a new way,
fully present and grounded,
unafraid to be right here
among all that is
messy and unclear
and uncomfortable,
in surrender
to all that is most healed
in me,
holding space for more healing
and sacred hope
for the transformation
of all that seems unhealable
and unsolvable,
in reverence
of my own experience
and yours.
— from earlier notes
I found
a little magic
in my willingness
to stand still
in my heart,
moving past
the intense places,
through the uncomfortable,
in-between times —
having just enough
courage to keep
showing up
and continuing on.
Laurie's Notes 