Quiet Reflections and Prayers
There was a quieting,
a gentle shift
from pure survival
to an aliveness
that flowed out of
the willingness to embrace
carefully hidden emotion
in a way that was
both safe
and strong enough
to hold
the most painful experiences —
transforming them,
through this holding,
into something beautiful.
And so every thought,
every experience,
every memory began
to soften.
All that I experienced
seemed to be touched
by the purity of love
I had held
within my deepest heart.
And I found it had
always been this way —
love reaching back
for itself.
I began to notice
a natural softening
in myself and others
as I aligned to my own
true essence —
a subtle shifting
that bypassed
the need to sort out
every personal flaw
and pattern.
There was a sense
of relief
after having struggled
and identified ourselves
with the parts
that were evolving —
an embracing —
a relaxing into
our own inherent wholeness.
I began to filter life
in a gentler way,
holding and honoring
moments as they unfolded,
shifted and transformed
into the next.
This motion
of deep reverence
and unconditional love
became my unspoken,
continuous prayer —
sure footing
in a world in the midst
of its own deepest healing.
I found peace
in the letting go
of the need
to hold each detail
of my own life
so tightly.
Somehow,
because all attempts
at solving the puzzle
of my own struggles
in the usual ways
completely failed,
I was left
holding the remnants
of a deeper story.
This was the story
I wanted to share
because it belonged
to a deeper me.
There was tenderness
in the persistent way
pieces of my own heart
longed for understanding
and in the gentle way
they became willing
to surrender
the need to grasp —
to step outside
neatly sorted
concepts and ideas
and every place
that was comfortable
and guaranteed —
to toss it all up
again and again
because it was
the most loving thing.
Let me be
a quiet prayer,
not always quiet
on the surface,
but a little deeper down.
Let my words and actions
resonate with
the space within
my deepest heart
and yours.
Amen
I found myself within
a beautiful motion
of holding
and letting go,
allowing attention
to land
where it pleased,
sometimes pausing —
always continuing —
unattached to labels
or the need to
connect all of the dots
too soon —
holding and honoring
all that crossed
my path
as this most natural
rhythm began to feel
more and more
like home —
letting go into
my own deepest heart.
I began to let the words
find their own way
out of my experiences
and out of my heart,
though the empty space
I was left holding,
having tossed everything
back to wherever it came.
I became willing to
stand in that uncomfortable
place of in-between,
letting the pieces
come together
as they always did —
allowing life
to both lead and follow —
showing up empty
of me —
holding sacred space
for all of us.
Looking back,
I held the pieces
of my own deepest healing
all along.
I only had to
step out of
my own way
and allow them to
come together.
I had to step forward
and toss them all
in trust
that wherever
they landed,
it would be okay.
Laurie's Notes 